Today's Review: My Apple Slicer

I like apples. I never used to eat fruit because I was immature and thought it was yucky, but in recent years I have rediscovered the joys. I've always liked peaches, pineapples and the like, but now i'm fond of the more boring fruits, oranges and apple specifically. But there's always something in the way of me enjoying my fruits fully. Peaches are kinda fuzzy and that just feels weird. Oranges have pulp. Apples have cores.

Honestly, what is the point? (Being attached to the tree in order to grow and to hold seeds necessary for reproduction) I'm a man, I like to devour my food whole, except when there are bones involved, ripping meat off bones is manly in its own way. Apple cores have always ruined my enjoyment of apples, and I have always felt people deride me due to the point at which I give up eating. I'm never left with the classic apple core shape that dips in the middle, only a uniform and slightly fatter core. The kids like to eat apples too, and cutting an apple in such as way as to get the most out of it is difficult with the stupid core in the middle. But no longer.

This is my new apple slicer. I was perusing for the usual useless kitchen related items and had to do a double take when I saw this. Finally, a solution to all my apple cutting problems. I'd had my eye on an apple corer, but this is so much more. Just one push and you have the core and separate apple slices ready for consumption. Plus it's shaped like an apple so there's no way of confusing it with your other various slicers.

Bam. Job done. This slicer also leaves the apple with a uniformly straight and slightly fatter than usual core, so it gives me a sense of relief concerning my own weird apple eating habits. I used to spend upwards of a minute cutting an apple, but now, after one push, and a satisfying juicy squirt on or near my face, I'm good to go. Thank you apple slicer. You're all I ever need in order to slice an apple.

My rating: