Today's Review: Andrex's "Scrunch Or Fold?" Campaign

Let's imagine you work in the toilet paper marketing department. For years you've created adverts about how soft and quilted your brand of paper feels when it's wiped on your corn hole, and how all those weird plant infusions are good for your anus. Things are getting a little bland and unoriginal. How do you put the pizzaz back in the loo roll advertising? Andrex clearly had that problem, so they've decided to set up a national campaign to find out just how people wipe their arses.

So this is the slogan adorning packets of toilet paper, the eternal question of whether you scrunch or fold your toilet paper before you use it to mop up excrement. I can only assume that once the results are in for this, they'll move onto asking which hand people wipe with, or whether they do it standing or sitting (yes, that is a divided issue). I mean, really, who thought of this? Who thought it would be a good idea? Can't we just market toilet paper purely on the fact that using it means you don't get skidmarks in your underwear? That's enough to make me buy it.

To be honest, it has gotten me talking about it, but only in the way that I sarcastically pointed the slogan out to my coworkers before engaging in a brief conversation that ended with, I assume, both of us feeling awkward and wishing we knew less about each other's toilet habits. But hey, any publicity is good publicity, even if a company wants to know which form your waste-covered tissues are. But I certainly don't like it. It's creepy and weird. Sure, it's charming if the Andrex puppy asks, but I'd probably be arrested if I went around asking people of my own volition.

My rating: 1/5