Today's Review: Poundland White Chocolate Malt Balls

Poundland are bringing out quite a lot of knock off versions of famous chocolates, and none have exactly wowed me so far. Here's their take on Maltesers, but with a twist. Can you see? Let me give you a clue. They've got white chocolate on! Yes, these are the snazzily named White Chocolate Malt Balls, which are white chocolate coated malt balls.

These are pretty good actually. Obviously not as good as Maltesers, because Maltesers are perfect, but these are a damn good effort. The malt is a little on the crumbly side, but packs quite a bit of flavour. The coating is actually chocolatey, has a nice creaminess to it and doesn't leave a bitter taste in the mouth. I polished these off fairly quickly, and I wouldn't mind picking up some more. A nice little Poundland offering.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Barratt Dip Dab Softies

Not content until all sweets are available in soft chewy forms, Barratt have now turned the classic Dip Dab into Softies, meaning you can get that sherbet/lolly combo without the mess. Or can you? Well, no, you can't. I love a Dip Dab, and this is not a good representation. They've tried to emulate it with these lemon and strawberry sour sweeties, but the flavours are off, the lemon just ain't right, and the strawberry doesn't pack nearly as much punch as that little round lolly. They are soft at least, they're definitely chewable, and they grew on me after a few sweets, but I'd rather go for a real Dip Dab over these, even if I do end up covered in sherbet. Oh well, they can't all be as good as Drumstick Squashies.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Häagen-Dazs Coconut Chocolate

I like a new Häagen-Dazs flavour, even if every time I write about one I have to look up how to type an "a" with an umlaut. Here we have coconut chocolate, which is capitalising on that coconut craze but, you know, with chocolate. Not much to say to describe this. It's coconut ice cream with chocolate pieces in it.

This is pretty good, if a little boring. But hey, it does what it says on the tub. The ice cream is creamy and coconutty, with a few pieces of the shredded stuff thrown in for a bit of extra flavour and texture. It's perhaps a little too sweet, but there's a nice amount of chocolate shrapnel thrown in to break it up a little and provide a nice crunch. So the flavours are all there, but it's all a bit too sweet, and a bit boring. A good effort, but not their best flavour.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Skittles Chewies

You know how you love Skittles, but hate the shell? No? Did anyone ask for these? Well, it doesn't matter, 'cause here they are, shell-less Skittles. The same flavours, but without the crispy bit on the outside. That's all I can say about them.

As pointless as thought these seemed, they're pretty good. Forgoing the shell means you can get straight to the chewy, fruity goodness, and while they are a little more chewy than regular Skittles, the flavours are as good as always. Not so much a fantastic new way to experience Skittles, more an alternative, worth trying out for a change.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Aldiva Happy Wheels

Not to be confused with the dismemberment happy Flash game, Happy Wheels are a pound store knock off of Wagon Wheels, or Moon Pies, or somewhere in between. Basically, it's an unappetising biscuit with minimal and flavourless caramel stuff in the middle, covered in disappointing chocolate. I couldn't pick up the caramel at all, the biscuit was dry, this is just an experience devoid of anything. Despite my dislike for them, I'd eat 50 Moon Pies before even entertaining one of these. Happy Wheels? I'm not happy, I'm just disappointed.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Snyder's Hot Buffalo Wing Pretzel Pieces

I love Snyder's pretzel pieces. They're one of the only American snacks I regularly pick up from Tesco, £1.30 a bag may seem a bit pricey, but they're worth it. I vowed to get my hands on as many flavours as I could, so when Tesco recently started selling these massive bags of hot buffalo pieces, I snapped it up, despite being £3.40.

It may seem a bit steep for the bag, but it is pretty full, and these are pretty delicious. They're not as hot as the jalapeno variety, but there's a lot of flavour packed into there, a saucy, peppery taste that builds up a lovely level of heat. These are extremely moreish, and satisfyingly crunchy. Another great flavour of pretzel pieces, they make me want to go stateside and grab everything I can.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Asda Jewellery Laces

I was recently sent these Jewellery Laces to try out, they're new at Asda, an interesting combination of candy necklace and laces. Inside you'll find liquorice style laces in various flavours, as well as some smaller shaped sweet charms. Each of those has a hole in the middle, so you can thread them onto the laces and create your own jewellery! Necklaces, bracelets, rings, the possibilities are... well, that's most of the possibilities. But it's a very neat idea.

These sweets taste good, that's the first thing I made sure of. They're all brightly coloured, with a lot of bold fruit flavours. I'd buy a bag of just the laces on their own, but these have the added bonus of jewellery, of course. Threading the charms on takes a bit of practice, and squeezing, but it's easy enough. I will say that there weren't too many charms compared to laces, you can't make every necklace chock full of charms. Tying them up is a bit of a pain as well, if you want to wear the jewellery you have to be careful not to snap the laces, but that's a small issue. I gave a pack to my daughter, and her and a friend spent a full hour making stuff out of them, that's more than you get from any other pack of sweets. A very neat idea that's a big hit with the kids, they just need to balance the charms and laces a bit more.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Kit Kat Chunky Salted Caramel Fudge

A new Kit Kat Chunky flavour is nothing to be sniffed at, there's not a one I met that I didn't like, and this one looked to be no exception. Salted caramel and fudge, all wrapped up in one Kit Kat? Count me in! There's not much to say about this, other than it's awesome. It's actually salty, which I find is somewhat lacking in this salted caramel trend, and there's a nice sweet underlayer of caramel, as well as a nice substantial fudgy flavour to round it off. Complete with the classic Kit Kat chocolate and wafer, it's another great variety of Kit Kat. Gorgeous.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Mikado Corn On The Cob

Hey guys, do you like corn on the cob? Of course you do. But who wants to go to all that trouble of cooking it, right? Well, it turns out you can get your corn on the cob pre-cooked and vacuum sealed in plastic, all for the low low price of 89p, thank you Home Bargains!

Of course, cooking corn on the cob is one of the simplest things you can do, and buying the stuff fresh isn't much more money than this sad looking packet. So why is this a thing? Well, the packaging states that they can be a "quick and easy meal solution", but if an ambient temperature corn on the cob is your idea of a hearty meal then I feel sorry for you. You can heat these up, there are instructions included, but doesn't that then negate the point of having it pre-cooked in the first place? 

Well, enough about why it exists, let's move onto the taste, which is terrible. Ever so slightly salty, ever so slightly sweet, but otherwise devoid of flavour and disappointingly watery. I pity the lovely corn who grew so promisingly in the fields, only to be snatched up in their prime and reduced to this.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Maxons Sherpot Lemon

It's another Home Bargains sweet find, this one is a Sherpot, which is literally a pot of sherbet. It came in lemon or cola flavour, and I opted for the former so I could get that zing. Unfortunately I was just met with generic, flavourless sherbet. There may have been a hint of lemon somewhere, but it wasn't even that sour. I was starting to wonder if I'd gotten a pot off the wrong shipment, but those fears were dispelled once I didn't reach an intense high.

So yes, disappointing sherbet, but how are you going to eat it? Why, with the disappointing lolly of course! "Fruit" flavoured, though the fruit isn't specified, and isn't easy to make out. Also, I got two lollies on either end of one stick, bent into a sort of twin cherry shape, which was just odd and unwieldy. I had to twist the stick until it snapped in two, so I wasn't going at it like a confectionery based Darth Maul. As sherbet goes, this is probably the worst I've tried.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Blueberry Fruit Rockets

I do love a trip to Home Bargains, it usually rewards me with an array of cheap, off brand sweets. Take these Fruit Rockets, for instance, a knock off version of Millions in a blueberry flavour. I thought at least the flavour itself would be unique, and it mostly is, but I wouldn't consider it distinctly blueberry. It's fruity enough, but a little disappointing. As for the texture, these are significantly more chewy than Millions, so much so that my jaw hurt by the end of the pack, they're just too hard. I mean, I like really chewy sweets as much as the next guy, but these are just not great. Not awful, but definitely not great.

My rating: 2/5

Today’s Review: Food Menus On TV Screens

Ordering food can be a stressful situation. If you’re not a regular and want to peruse, there are many things that worsen the situation. Overworked employees, queues of people, your hangry companions. My point is, it’s already bad enough perusing the menus, finding out they’re on TV screens is just so much worse.

I love technology, I can’t get enough of it, but I think some things were fine how they were, and fast food menus are one of them. I get it, sometimes there’s not enough space to display everything, though that’s rare. Most of the time every item is displayed over several screens, with a brief interlude of the latest special item flashing up, normally as I’m trying to read something. It’s just not necessary. If you want to sell me the new double triple whatever, just put up a paper sign, don’t interrupt the ordering process.

I think the worse one I encountered was at Jump Street the other day. Their cafe is not exactly known for its haute cuisone, and their food items fit on once screen, their drinks another. Behind the counter are, you guessed it, two screens. But still, each screen cycled through the menus with transitions that would make an 11 year old PowerPoint amateur weep tears of pride. But why? Just leave the things static, they were changing at a rate that left me gaping cluelessly at the thing for a full 3 minutes, and that’s not helpful by anyone. Ditch the screens. Just give me a menu I can read through.

My rating: 0/5

Today's Review: Oasis Aquashock Chilled Cherry

Ah, you can always count on Oasis to deliver refreshing drinks in tasty flavours, so when I saw they’d brought out flavoured water, I had faith that they’d carried on their trend of success. Here we have Aquashock, a zero sugar water! So really, just regular water with low calorie sweetener chucked in. But this bottle promised chilled cherry, and I was interested to see what a cherry oasis would taste like. 

Well, this cherry is particularly chilled, to the point where it doesn’t seem to be doing anything at all. There’s a little hint of something, a little sweetness, but all in all it’s just a very lightly flavoured bottle of water. The only Aquashock here is the fact that Oasis disappointed me.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Krispy Kreme Caramel Swirl

Krispy Kreme have brought out some new caramel based flavours, and they've gone all the way with this one. It's filled with salted caramel sauce, topped with caramel frosting, a caramel cube and a caramel drizzle. But is there such things as too much caramel? Well, yes, when you're trying to differentiate between different types, it's a bit of a muddle. The salt in the filling is lost when trying to compete with the three other caramel elements going on at the same time, and despite everything going on, this just tastes like a regular old caramel filled donut. There are far better Krispy Kreme choices that incorporate many flavours, so while this one is quite good, it didn't blow me away.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Kettle Discoveries Patatas Bravas

The next bold flavour that Kettle have decided to bestow upon their potato chips is... potato? Yes, potato flavoured potato chips, but not just any potatoes.Here we have the patatas bravas variety, which promises paprika and aioli. Not exactly the most ambitious flavour, but sometimes less is more.

Well, they got the potato part right, seeing as these things are mostly potato. So there's a good base there, upon which is piled a pretty nice combination of flavours. There's the smoky, slightly spicy hint of paprika, and an element of garlic chucked in for the aioli. The garlic does seem to hang around a bit more than anything else, so the balance is a little off there. These are better than I thought they'd be, but all in all they're still a bit bland. Potato flavour potato chips may be a safe bet, but they're not terribly exciting.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Oreo Joy Fills Choco Caramel Creme

While I was sorely disappointed in the last bag of Joy Fills I got, I figured it was worth trying out the Oreo themed ones. Unfortunately, there's not much more I can say, as they're pretty much the same, but with a chocolate shell. I guess you're supposed to be able to pick up hints of that Oreo creme in the outer layer, but it's very dry and not particularly flavoursome. The insides are a bit better, but they're not exactly packed with caramel flavouring. I mean, all the signs point to suggesting these are eaten straight out of the packet, but they are a lot better with some milk, Krave style. That kicks them up a notch point wise, but I wouldn't suggest grabbing a dry handful, they're way too dry. Not a great snack, despite the varied flavours.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Popchips Ridges Sea Salt & Vinegar

Carrying on the theme of disappointing salt and vinegar versions of really nice spicy crisps, here we have Popchips Ridges, which have a "crazy hot" flavour that was actually sort of crazy. These ones, however, are pretty underwhelming. That ridged texture does give it abit more oomph in the flavouring department, it's just a shame that neither the salt nor the vinegar are very strong. One day I'll find some that will burn my tongue from my mouth, but today is not that day. Not worth it, get those popped spicy ones instead.

My rating: 2/5

Today’s Review: Hula Hoops Salt & Vinegar Flavarings

After trying out the spicy Flavarings, I just had to go back and grab these salt and vinegar ones. Unfortunately, they’re not quite as good, but they’re still a fairly decent bag of crisps. These are some fairly sizeable chunky rings of salt and vinegar, not quite as caustic as I’d hoped, but there’s a decent amount of flavouring chucked onto each one. It does build up as you go, but doesn’t quite reach the peak that the spicy flavour has. Worth a try though.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Doritos Collisions Honey Glazed Ribs & Lemon Blast

After trying out the habanero and guacamole Doritos the other day, I had to grab these ones too. Thankfully they're on offer for £1 in Tesco Express, so it's the best time to grab a bag. This one combines honey glazed rib flavour with lemon, emulating that bag of ribs you get from the Chinese. How do they translate to chip form?

While the difference in colour between chips is quite noticeable in the habanero/guacamole bag, these ones aren't so much. Still, with a little studying you can pick out a pair, and the combination is... okay. The lemon chips are great, much along the same lines of the hint of lime Doritos, but with a bit more of a citrus kick. The ribs chips have a certain sweetness to them, but not too much meatiness behind them. Adding in the lemon creates a nice enough overall flavour, but I think I'd appreciate a whole bag of lemon more. Work on your rib flavoured chips guys, these are good, but not great.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Starburst Minis

Starburst are one of those absolute classic sweets, the formula is perfect, but now they've switched it up. So here we have Starburst Minis, which seem to only exist to cut down on paper waste. They're unwrapped, but present in the same classic flavours. 

Well, they had to do something with these to offset the lack of paper, otherwise all the Starburst would stick together.So yes, these are significantly harder than their classic counterparts, and therefore chewier. I'd say they're something between Starburst and Tooty Frooties in texture, and while the flavours are the same, I wasn't a fan of the excess chewing I had to do. Perhaps these will grow on me, but they're not up to the standard of the wrapped ones.

My rating: 3/5 

Today's Review: Penguin Neapolitan Cake Bars

If you like a bit of neapolitan ice cream, but don't want to deal with transporting it around in this hot weather, then it looks like Penguin have the answer for you. It's a cake bar that promises that trifecta of ice cream goodness, a strawberry sponge, topped with a layer of cream, and wrapped up in chocolate. It's not bad, you do get a taste of all three flavours, although the focus mostly settles on the strawberry. It's nice that it actually tastes like ice cream, instead of just a generic strawberry flavouring, so while it does overwhelm everything else, it's pretty good. An interesting little cake bar.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Joy Fills Choco Cookie Creme

This is an odd new product from Cadbury, a share bag of wheat pillows with a chocolate filling. Not quite on the same level as a bag of buttons, but they looked interesting enough. Sort of like Cadbury's version of Krave. Thing is, that's a cereal, and this is a bag of snacks. So how do these measure up?

These aren't great. They are pretty similar to Krave, but you wouldn't want to eat them dry either. There's a lot of wheat here, and not enough filling to make up for it. The bag says "choco cookie creme", but there's not a whole lot of cookie, the chocolate chips in the outer layer aren't really noticeable. The filling is nice enough, creamy and chocolatey, but that dry wheat really dampens it. I couldn't take it after a while, I went full on Krave and dumped the rest of the bag in a bowl with some milk. These taste significantly better in cereal form, but not much better than the actual cereal versions. Plus these are £1.50 for a small bag, so you're just better off getting your favourite supermarket's off brand pillows. 

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Rowntrees Randoms Sours

I wasn't sure what to think of Randoms when they first came out, but they quickly grew on me. Now they've gone and covered them in sour stuff, so I had to give these a try. There's not much more to these, they're pretty much exactly the same as Randoms, but with the sour coating. So you have sour foam sweets, sour foam backed sweets, and sour liquid filled sweets. I can't say I prefer these to the original, but it's a simple change to the formula that gives a nice little tart kick and adds a new dimension to this sweet bag. The coating distracts a little from the flavour of the sweets themselves, but if you're a sour fan you should probably grab a bag.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Chewits Crazy Face Mad Sour

I think these are supposed to be sour, there's something about the packaging that is trying to relay that to me. I mean, apple and lemon are some tart flavours, but these must be something else if they promise to make my face go "ssssshhhhhiiiiiiffffff", whatever that means. I was revved up for something spectacular, but I was disappointed. I mean, my face did something, sure, but I wouldn't call it crazy or rely on confusing onomatopoeia. The actual sweets are somewhat small, and the fruit flavours aren't amazing, all in all it's just a disappointingly average bag of sweets with a bit of a sour kick. Don't buy into the hype.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Walkers Poppables Sweet Chilli

There are new crisps popping up all over the place lately, these ones especially, they've popped up and are poppable. I'm guessing they're so named because they're easy to pop in your gob. They come in a few flavours, but of course, I went for the chilli. 

These are pretty good. The texture is interesting, much nicer than the recently reintroduced Bugles. These are light and airy, and the 3D shape makes for a good amount of flavouring. These have a nice, subtle heat, it could perhaps have been a bit stronger. These ain't no sweet chilli Sensations, but they're good. An interesting little variation on the regular old crisp that's worth trying out.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Hula Hoops Spicy Flavarings

Oh yes, it's another form of Hula Hoops. First we had the small crunchy kind, then the big crunchy kind, then the small Puft ones, and now the size of the puffiness has increased. So now we have these big share bags of Flavarings, which are similar in texture to Wotsits, and come in a variety of flavours. I went for spicy, as always, and I have to say I was blown away. These are fantastic. The texture is great, and they leave behind that oh so delicious dust on the fingertips. The heat level is just right, not too hot, but it lasts for the entirety of the experience and then lingers some more. They're almost identical in flavour to the Wotsits Zombie Fingers, which I absolutely love, so it's safe to say I'll be buying more of these in future, and I can't wait to try the other flavours too. This is a great bag of Hula Hoops, even if they're not traditionally crunchy.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review:Trolli Dino Rex

I should have known when I saw the packet, I shouldn't have believed it. But there it was, a bag of overly sugary dinosaur shaped sweets, with the blurb "Xtra sour!" I should have known that spelling "extra" like that was a ploy, and as such I was rewarded with sweets that were not extra sour, they were in fact just a little bit sour. 

Alright, they're not all bad. The green and yellow ones aren't particularly flavoursome, but the blue, red and purple ones have a bit of a kick to them. They're a little tingly, sure, but by no means are they extra sour. All things considered they're pretty mediocre, definitely a few steps below Tangfastics. I don't think I'd get them again.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Haribo Fruit-Mania Lemon

It's a Haribo Fruit-Mania! Well, as long as the fruits are citrus. This is an interesting little German bag of sweeties, with lime, orange and grapefruit flavours. There's not too much to say about these, they're pretty good, a nice amount of chewiness, and quite tart. The texture is a little odd, I was hoping for something a bit more like a Fruit Gum, these break down quite quickly, but all in all they're not bad. The flavours are pretty authentic, and the grapefruit is an interesting addition. A little bit more variety wouldn't have gone amiss, but if you're into citrus sweets, you can't go wrong with this bag.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: KFC Zinger Double Down

KFC were on quite a roll before their deliveries got all messed up. It's been a while, but they're finally starting to get back on form. First they reintroduced the Double Down, and now they've spiced it up a bit. Basically, it's the same as a Double Down, but with spicy fillets, and if you don't know what a Double Down is, you should get some real world education. A chicken burger with chicken instead of buns, and loaded up with bacon and cheese in between. This is a meaty, cheesy concoction that's every bit as good as the original Double Down, and the introduction of the Zinger fillets ramps it up, but not too much. There's a pleasant introduction of heat that left me with a satisfying spicy tingle for a while after. Let's hope the Double Down comes back around again soon, whether original or Zinger, it's a winner.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Gianni's Cheeky Monkey Ice Cream

Anyone who reads my reviews is likely aware of my unwavering love for Ben & Jerry's, so I was excited when someone told me Aldi were offering something pretty similar for a smaller price. This appears to be the Aldi answer to Phish Food, but with pretty much the same name as Chunky Monkey, which was a little confusing. It consists of chocolate ice cream with marshmallow and caramel swirls, and little chocolate monkey faces. Aww.

Well, whoever told me this was just like Ben & Jerry's, they lied. I mean, it's not a bad tub of ice cream, it's supremely chocolatey, but the texture is somewhat moussey. The swirls and chocolate pieces are plentiful, it's just all the ingredients are a little off, clearly not the best quality. Definitely good for the price, but not quite a patch on Phish Food.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Fox's Glacier Tropical

Glacier Fruits are an all time classic, and it's nice to see them bring out some limited edition flavours every now and then. Popping into The Range the other day, I found this bag of the tropical variety, which only contains three different flavours, but they're pretty good. There's pineapple, mango & passion fruit, and a nod to the current craze in the form of coconut. A coconut boiled sweet might have been a bit much, I thought, and I was right in some respects. It does taste a lot like coconut, but once I'd experienced that flavour for a minute, I was about ready to move on, whereas the sweet stuck around. Nice, but a little too sweet.

The other two flavours are great, bold and fruity, and pretty authentic, the mango passion fruit is especially good. So not a perfect bag, but a good few interesting fruity sweets, worth trying out if you can find them.

My rating: 4/5