I do not own a Miracle Blade Perfection Set. I was perusing the JML website for products I could simply not live without, and this was probably most fitting. The informercial highlights all the problems I have with my current set of knives.
Yeah, that always happens when I hack at a tomato like a manic prehistoric half-man. If only my knives could teach me the finesse to not blindly stab at my foodstuffs. But wait, that's not all.
Man, that's all me. Could it be that a set of knives have finally become available that means I can move my construction equipment out of the kitchen? Surely not.
But yes, here they are. Not just knives, Miracle Blades. Just look at that selection. There's a knife, a slightly bigger knife, a fatter knife, a longer knife and a curvy knife. Now I won't feel lost when my cookbook tells me to use Miracle Blade number 5. My life is complete. Scissors too. I'm amazed. On close inspection they may just look like sharp knives, compared to my clearly inadequate not as sharp knives. But don't be fooled, these are Miracle Blades. They can't say miracle unless it's true, 'cause Jesus would kick them in the balls.
Case in point. How many other knife sets can you use to fulfill your lifelong dream of slicing a pineapple in midair for your fruit salad? I can safely say I've never tried with any knives, but I can only assume this skill comes exclusively with Miracle Blades. After all, they're made of German stainless steel. I don't now if that's better than other nation's stainless steel, but it must be, otherwise they wouldn't have mentioned its nationality.
I love you, Miracle Blades. I have never used you, but one day I'm sure i'll take the plunge and buy more blades than I'll ever need. Then I can stop looking like this:
Every single day with the damn hacksaw.
This one goes up to 11.