Today's Review: Finding A Note On The Ground

We all know that feeling when we find some money on the floor. It's a rush of excitement, with a little bit of naughtiness, knowing that someone has dropped a coin and you are now the rightful owner, according to the legal framework of Finder Keepers. One of the silver coins is decent, a pound is better, obviously, and hey, even a penny has the added element of a days worth of luck. But there is a point where finding money takes a turn for the worse.

It's a rare occurrence, but I have found a couple of notes on the ground in my lifetime. That once euphoric feeling turns to one of apprehension. Who drops a note? I get coins falling out of pockets, they're small, a note takes a certain kind of clumsiness. The issue lies in the value. If I lost a pound, I could get over it, but a fiver or more would leave me annoyed for a long time. So finding a note on the ground gives me that feeling of dread, because I am afflicted with empathy. Of course, if it's just a note, there's no way to identify whose it is, and asking a variety of passers by if they dropped a tenner is just a recipe for disaster. But even if I kept the money, it's like an ancient cursed idol, burning a hole in my pocket with its judgemental eyes. There's no easy way to pick up an abandoned note, it may give that rush of excitement, but it also provides a burden on my soul.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: KaDunks

Here's another little interesting sweet I picked up from the pocket money section at the shop. I did take a picture of mine, but apparently it doesn't want to work, so you can enjoy this generic photo I found instead. Here we have KaDunks, which are basically like Dairylea Dunkers, but made out of sweets. The pack I got consisted of strawberry flavour gummy shapes, and a blue raspberry dip to dunk them in. Sound gross? Well, they are. I mean, the blue raspberry has a nice sour tinge to it, but it's pretty sickly and sugary. As for the gummies, they're pretty hard and flavourless, and really don't add anything to the experience. These basically seem like a way to deliver sour goo into our mouths, I get they're trying to make it enjoyable, but this isn't a tasty treat.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Winning A Prize From A 2p Machine

In true bank holiday fashion, I headed to the seaside this weekend, and spent an inordinate amount of time shoving grubby 2ps into a machine that rewarded me with yet more grubby 2ps. Those machines are addictive, a child's gateway to gambling. Low risk, low reward, but watching those coins pile up before cascading over the edge is such a thrill.

It's made even better with the prizes they place on top. Closer and closer to the edge they inch, teasing you all the way. "Just another pound," you think, "that'll be enough to claim my prize". Then eventually, it falls. Or you have to call an attendant because it gets stuck at the front of the machine. Either way, there's not a thrill like it. Sure, you pumped in a good few quid to be rewarded with some toot that would probably set you back 50p, but it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. I love getting prizes.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Bobby's Skull Suckers

While "Bobby's Skull Suckers" sounds like the name of a macabre travelling circus, or a zombie survival experience, it is in fact the name of a lollipop I found nestled among those pocket money sweets in the Co-Op. It consists of a skull shaped lollipop, nestled on top of a concertina receptacle, which contains a blue raspberry flavoured sour liquid. So basically, sugar on top of a reservoir of sour sugar.

So basically, you press up the concertina tube at the bottom, which forces the sour goo up into the lollipop and out through its eyes. Eww, gross, right? Well, it's entertaining enough. One for those kids who like their confectionery grotesque. As for the taste, it's so so. The goop at the bottom has a little bit of a kick to it, but not all that much, though it does have a nice little blue raspberry flavour in it. It gets sickly pretty quickly, but luckily there's not really much there. While that may be good for not overwhelming you with sour syrup, it doesn't fare well for the relatively dry lollipop on top. It's like an off brand Double Lolly with a slight blue raspberry tinge, but it soon gives way to a featureless, dry, slightly powdery lollipop. A pretty gross offering, both in aesthetics and flavour, but I suppose it's not all bad.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Having Barely Enough Signal To Make A Post

I'm away on an impromptu bank holiday trip, which is lovely, but the sudden lack of wifi has thrown all planning I have around my reviews out of whack. Ah, who am I kidding, I never plan ahead. What I'm facing now, however, is a lack of wifi and a fairly poor 3G signal, so just getting to this stage of writing the thing is a miracle. It also means I can no longer rely on high speed mobile internet to answer my questions, or to check Facebook at regular intervals. So, I guess it's a blessing in disguise. I can drop the phone and concentrate on life for a change. At least I know with some persistence I can still get online if I need to. Have a good bank holiday, guys.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Stepping On Something Wet With No Shoes On

I've experienced many sensations over the years, varying levels of pain and discomfort, but nothing fills me with abject horror quite like stepping on something wet with no shoes on. Especially in the dark. it could be anything from a puddle to a stray turd (pet or child, you know what I mean), it is my utmost belief that nothing good in this world is naturally wet, at least not when it's squished between your toes. Given my feelings during that split second between stepping in it to identifying it, everything I've stepped in may as well be turds. One of the worst sensations know toan, and the primary reason I always give my feet some protection from the outside world.

My rating: 0/5

Today's Review: Wilko Sour Mallow Clouds

Here's a quick little review of these Sour Mallow Clouds I picked up at Wilko a few days back, I can't say I've tried too many sour marshmallows, so this bag really appealed to me. They come in a variety of colours, but it doesn't affect the flavour, so let's just say they're interesting shaped marshmallows with a sour coating. Despite my initial misgivings, I must say they're not too bad. The marshmallows themselves aren't the best quality, but they possess some of that nice fluffiness. The sour element is pulled off well, an initial hit from the coating, but the tang continues through the marshmallow itself, making these some nice chewy, tart mallows. A unique little bag among the other generic confectionery offerings, track them down.

My rating: 4/5