Tuesday 25 October 2016

Today's Review: Choccers

That's right, Choccers, ain't you heard of Choccers before? Well, I certainly hadn't, until I laid my eyes upon this questionably designed bag in Poundworld. They're knock off M&Ms basically, and I don't know where to start, even before I've opened the bag. The off kilter name, all in lower case? The mountains of half eaten candies, emphasising the fact that these contain chocolate, despite being called "choccers" and having "chocolate" written in the top corner? I think I'll talk about the obvious, which is the anthropomorphic "choccers", clad in sneakers for some reason, with what I assume would be happy faces if they hadn't each had a bite taken out of them. Instead their faces are fixed in abject horror, their mouths and eyeballs contorted in all directions due to the brain trauma they have clearly sustained from being eaten alive. If that doesn't make you want to eat some cheap M&Ms, nothing will.

As the old saying says, you should never judge a bag of chocolate by its cover, so these could be fantastic. Well, they're not. I mean, they start off promising enough, the shell has a nice little crunch to it. It's just a shame it gives way to some low quality chocolate that almost crumbles in the mouth, leaving a gritty, sugary texture with a funny aftertaste. These things are not good. I don't even understand the need to create a cheaper version of M&Ms, when you can buy the real thing for £1 often enough. Choccers? More like shockers, am I right?

My rating: 1/5

No comments:

Post a Comment