Thursday, 27 June 2013

Today's Review: My Turkish Barber Experience

There's a Turkish barber near mine that is pretty cheap, and though I have enjoyed a nice shave there, the last time I went there for my barnet I was a victim of the insufferable indignity of having my hair a bit too short for my liking. Needless to say, it put me off, so my last few cuts have been given to someone a bit heavier on my wallet. But today, since times are tough and pennies are short, I took the plunge and went in for that elusive £10 haircut.

I was directed to my chair by a young man. I don't know his name, because I'm one of those people who makes hairdressers uncomfortable by not engaging in small talk. Although it might just be me that feels uncomfortable. Anyway, after saying several times that I would like my hair "short, but not too short", and showing him a picture of my short haired self with the key part blocked by my iPhone clock, he promptly went to work on my sides with a buzzer.

This scared me. I've heard a few tales of buzz cuts gone wrong, and have regularly thought buzzers were reserved for number ones or skinhead style. But after a few minutes of deft swipes around my ears, I still had some hair left, so that was good for me. He'd also fiddled around with the back, and since I couldn't see it that created some suspense for me. But I didn't have much time to dwell on it before the barber picked up the scissors.

I know how the regular haircut goes. Hair brushed, parted, measured, cut, repeated. I was well prepared to be in for the slow ride. What I was not prepare for was the whirlwind of scary barber turbulence that was unleashed across my scalp. Hair was grabbed, combed and snipped, at speeds upwards of 3 snips per second. A recipe for disaster you may think, but this man knew what he was doing.

In mere minutes my hair was short, uniform, and my fringe actually at a length I found satisfactory. That's hardly ever happened straight after a cut. After the initial cut, the same clipping frenzy began with thinning scissors, and after a few blasts with the hair dryer to get rid of the clippings, I was done. I could only agree with the few words that the man had uttered since he began, like "excellente" and "perfecto". In those minutes I had become a man. A man with sorter hair that is. But damn, is it a good head of hair.

This barber clearly has some kind of hair based superpower. He knew exactly what he was doing and wasted no time doing it. There were a few times where his frantic grabbing and snipping caused his comb to smack me lightly in the face. It seemed too regular to be accidental, perhaps he had a bet with his coworkers to see how many times he can assault his customers, but I was too impressed with the speed and quality of his work to care about it too much. I clearly misjudged the Turkish barber, and I will definitely be returning for that low price, super fast hair cut. 

My rating: 5/5

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