Friday, 1 April 2011

Today's Review: My Right Arm

I think my right arm is cursed. I have suffered a few injuries over the past couple of weeks, and all of them appear to be on my right arm. There was one exception where I cut myself shaving, but according to my friend it just looked like I was growing a soul patch. To which I quick-wittedly replied "Why yes, but made of real souls". Sometimes I crack myself up.

This was the first noticeable injury, a large scratch of unknown origin. Seriously, it's been on my arm for like three weeks, and it doesn't look like it's going away anytime soon. We can chalk that one up to random careless scratchings, but then this one appeared.

Another, albeit slightly smaller, scratch of unknown origin. I'm sure I had another one as well, but I think that's cleared up. 

So, okay, we've got a few scratches, nothing weird. But this week has been a cornucopia of arm related injuries. First, part of my index finger split open for no reason whatsoever, and that hurts like a bitch. Then, as I was making cakes last night, I closed a food colouring bottle and slashed open my middle finger in the bottle top.

Seriously, how does that even happen? I've had paper cuts, cardboard cuts, even soup can cuts, but never bottle top cuts. Next thing i'll be losing significant amounts of blood every time I drink a coke.
So my right hands now hurts whenever i'm doing stuff. But to top it all off, I went to work today and spent an hour or two peeling labels off DVDs. I have literally peeled thousands of labels off DVD cases in the last three years, but today I start to get an excruciating pain in my wrist whenever I peel. It was then I realised something was out to get my right arm. Oh, and then I stapled my thumb.

TL;DR, my arm is being increasingly tortured until the point where some freak accident will cause me to lose it entirely. I'll be sure to review the ensuing blood loss and perhaps gangrene when that happens. 

My rating: 3 bloody fingers out of 5. And that number is only set to increase.

No comments:

Post a Comment