There are a few churches that I walk past on the way to work. One of them has a bulletin board outside, which mostly just posts congregation times and the like. But today I saw they had put some nice little posters up.
Aww, look, it's like LOLcats for Christians! "You can give your worries to God, because he can untangle them". I dunno man, that ball of wool doesn't look very tangled to me. That cat and dog don't seem particularly worried either. This isn't a very good portrayal of what they're trying to say. Perhaps the fact that there are cute animals on the poster means I am more likely to open my heart to an all knowing deity. Can't say it worked on me. Until...
Aww, wook at him! He's so cute! This poster tells me that God will iron out my problems. I was almost ready to go in and join the priesthood, but waaaait a minute. If God is so good at ironing things out, why the hell does that dog look like that? I wouldn't let him fix my wrinkled problems if he can't even make that dog look right. He made a whole bunch of flat ones, why did this one get left out?
How am I meant to give my worries to God anyway? The poster doesn't specify. Do I Fed-Ex them? What really specifies a "worry" anyway? One person could be worried because they could die any day, while another could be worried that they won't be back home in time to watch the new episode of The Only Way Is Essex. This blanket solution posted on a flyer isn't going to cover the whole spectrum of human emotion and despair.
Yeah, turns out I'm not a born again Christian. Those animals are cute though.
My rating: 1/5