Sunday 1 April 2018

Today's Review: When Someone Offers To Make You A Cup Of Tea And Then Forgets

As an Englishman, I do enjoy a good cup of tea. I wouldn't say my level of tea dependence is as high as the regular British citizen, I don't cry out for one at every opportunity, but if someone offers to make me a brew I'm fairly likely to take them up on it. Most of the time it works out well, I get a cup of tea, they get to fulfil their British hospitality quota, everyone's happy. But every now and then, someone will offer to make me a cuppa, and then forget to do so.

Most of the time I don't even want the tea until the person asks. Then after the agreement has been made, naturally my body starts preparing itself to receive the tea. Time passes, and my body cries out more and more for that steaming hot cup. Sometimes tea takes a while, especially if it's a large order. I can live with that. It's when the tea maker has handed out cups to others, and then sits back down that I begin to panic. My tea has not been made.

What do I do? I can't remind them that they haven't made me a tea, that would cause the utmost embarrassment to both parties. I also can't go and make myself a brew, because even the slightest chink of a tea cup will jog their memory, and the barrage of apologies will begin. So there I must sit, now gagging for a cup of tea, but unable to do anything about it until the next one is made. What's worse is that sometimes after I've accepted my fate, the tea maker will suddenly remember that they've passed me over, apologise profusely, and I have to squeeze out an "it's fine" without making it sound like it is not, in fact, fine. They'll ask if I want them to make me one, but they don't want to get up again, it's a constant back and forth of "sorry" and "it's fine" that could last for hours. This whole situation is horrible, it makes me want to give up tea altogether. But I can't do that, I like tea. When I get one that is.

My rating: 0/5

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