Today's Review: Yorkshire Tea Biscuit Brew

I'm not much of a tea drinker, I'll get in on the hot drink rounds at work, but I'm not one to stick the kettle on as soon as I get home. As such, I don't purchase tea bags very much, but that changed today when I saw this Yorkshire Tea biscuit brew. At first I thought it was just a good tea to have with biscuits, but that "new" sign on the shelf lured me in, and on closer inspection I found it was a biscuit flavoured tea.

That's right, biscuit flavoured tea. Why waste those calories on biscuits when you can already taste them in the cup? It's an interesting idea, and one that near enough horrified many of my co-workers. But hey, the revolution doesn't happen overnight, there is always resistance to change. I'm pretty sure this isn't a world-changing tea bag though. I will say that is tastes like biscuits, hell, it even smells like biscuits. It basically tastes like if you were to crumble a digestive into a cuppa, it's pretty authentic. But just because they can make tea taste like biscuits, doesn't mean they should. I mean, it's a decent attempt at something unique, but I don't think I'd take this over a regular cup of tea. But by all mean try it out if you want that tea and biscuits experience, without the biscuit.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Häagen-Dazs Peanut Butter Crunch

I saw this flavour a few weeks back, but didn't want to bite until it was on offer. Thankfully it just dropped to £2.50 at Tesco, so I was ready to pick me up some decadent peanut butter ice cream. At least, I hoped it would be decadent. This tub is all peanut, consisting of peanut butter ice cream, a peanut butter swirl and caramelised peanut pieces.

I'll start by saying this is perhaps a bit too much peanut. I know I should've expected that from the flavour, but other peanut butter ice creams I've tried usually have a little something to break it all up, like a bit of chocolate. It's a minor gripe though, as this is some great quality stuff. The ice cream itself has a creamy, smooth, somewhat muted peanut butter flavours, with a generous smattering of sweet peanut pieces that add a satisfying crunch and another burst of natural peanut flavour. My favourite part, though, is the swirl. While most would settle for a somewhat sickly sauce, this is a thick swirl of proper peanut butter, running through the entire tub and raising the whole experience to another level. It's like eating peanut butter from the jar, but not as bad for you. A great Häagen-Dazs tub that may be a bit overly peanut buttery, but tastes great.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Wine Gums Mocktails

Everyone loves a cocktail, right? Well, now you can get Wine Gums in your favourite cocktail flavours! Except they're actually mocktail flavours, so they don't taste like alcohol. So they're really different fruit flavours, and also a cola one. There are three cocktails to choose from here, pina colada, strawberry daquiri, and cuba libre.

So yes, three flavours isn't particularly a wide variety, but they're not bad. The cola one is the most unique, and is a pretty nice twist on your regular Wine Gum flavour. The strawberry is nothing to write home about, and the pina colada has a nice pineapple hint, though not much coconut to be found. So while these sounded quite promising, they're just pretty average, some interesting new flavour ideas, but not pulled off all that well.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: The Kids Messing With My Stuff

I just tried to log onto my laptop to write up a review, but apparently my password no longer works. It seems telling my kids the password for convenience sake was a bad move, as now somehow they've managed to change it, and I can't ask them what the hell they've done until they wake up in the morning.

Kids have been messing with my things for years. Ripping books, breaking computers, not putting dvds back in alphabetical order, kids just don't look after my stuff to my high standard. I guess they'll learn, but the journey to enlightenment is plagued with annoyances. I wish the kids would stop messing up my stuff.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Avengers Infinity War

It's here, it's finally here. I know I've probably said this about every iteration of Avengers, but this one takes it to another level. This is the culmination of ten years and 18 movies, an unprecedented amalgamation of heroes into one of the most impressive ensemble casts I've seen. This is Infinity War, and as excited as I was about it, I had some reservations that it might be a bit of a mess.

I needn't have worried. I can't go too much into this movie without divulging spoilers, so I'll pretty much just say it's fantastic. Everything we've come to love from a Marvel movie is here, the wit, the action, the great characters, but this time they're all in one place. Every one of these heroes is up against the big baddie and his lackeys, and coming from all corners of the galaxy, they team up into a great number of combinations for some truly fantastic fight scenes and action set pieces. If you thought the final battle in the first Avengers was great, just wait until you see this. 

There's no letting up on the action here, exposition is thin on the ground. That's not a bad thing though, that's the beauty of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The story and the characters have been established over many years, and this is simply the all out fantastic culmination of all the plot lines, a non-stop thrill ride of action. There are twists and turns, emotions run high, it's hilarious and heart-breaking. This is just a beautiful and exciting movie. 

I may sound like a fan boy, but I don't care. The quality of the Marvel movies has not let up, and it's absolutely awesome to see the pieces all come together from so many different movies. This is my movie event of the year, you need to watch Infinity War. You might need to do your homework if you haven't caught up with everything, but it's worth it.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Morrisons Toffee Flavoured Milk

Here's a quick review of a bottle of flavoured milk I picked up today. I've tried the generic flavours of Morrisons milk, and while I'm sure the toffee variety has been around for a while, this is the first time I've grabbed it. This basically consists of 95% milk, sugar and flavourings, and with that in mind it's fairly decent. The flavour isn't too sweet or overwhelming, it's a subtle, smooth toffee flavour that works well with the milk and makes for a refreshing drink that still seems pretty healthy. It could perhaps do with a bit more flavour in places, but that would be at the risk of it becoming too sickly, so I guess they're on the right side of the spectrum. A very decent attempt at a toffee milk though, I wouldn't mind getting this again.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Pointless Reviews Without Pictures

I'm not at home tonight, so here I am writing this review on my phone. A tiny screen, with no dedicated app, and no easy way to put pictures in. So what's a man to do but ramble about something incoherently? These quick little blocks of text have no substance, the lack of a picture just leaves it bland and uninteresting. I'd be surprised if you're still reading. But hey, this is the price I pay for doing a review every day, sometimes I run out of time, or don't have the tools, and have to slap something together before the day is through. These reviews suck, but hey, thanks for reading.

My rating: 0/5

Today's Review: Kind Bar Pomegranate Blueberry Pistachio

The good folks at Kind recently sent me a couple of new flavours to try out, and here is one of them. Here we have a Kind bar packed with blueberries, pomegranate and pistachios, which are three words I don't mind hearing in one sentence. Much like the other Kind bars, this is a predominantly nutty bar, with a smattering of fruit and other goodies. This one in particular is very juicy, with a good amount of blueberry and cranberry giving it a lovely sweet flavour. The pomegranate is a nice touch, although a little muted compared to the others. As for the pistachio, there's a certain hint of it, but it's also lost a little to the amount of almonds that are also present. Still, this is a very good, healthy tasting bar, packed with natural fruitiness and a great nutty finish. Well worth trying out.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Maynards Bassetts Chuckle Drops

Yeah, Chuckle Drops. I don't know why, but that doesn't sound particularly appetising. I think I'm picturing that wide, guffawing mouth flecking out lumps of spit, which could easily be branded "chuckle drops". But actually, these are perfectly harmless jelly sweets in various flavours. Basically they're like big Jelly Tots, except for some reason they've dropped the purple and added in white. White isn't even a flavour! Not sure what they were going for, I guess pineapple or something that's clearly not as good as blackcurrant. 

But hey, these aren't too bad. The fruit flavours are bold enough, some are a bit hit and miss but the red and orange ones are nice. I think they're just a bit too big for my liking. They're overly chewy, and by the time I made my way through them the flavour was waning, unlike Jelly Tots which seem to have the perfect combination of size and flavour. They're just a bit of a cheap knock off really, not bad on its own, but paling in comparison to the classic sweets. Worth a try at least.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Rekorderlig Botanicals Rhubarb, Lemon & Mint

What a lovely English summer's day we've had, although now it seems the warm weather is gone again. But still, today was a lovely day to enjoy a barbecue, paired with a refreshing cider, so I grabbed a few, including this interesting little botanical brew from Rekorderlig. It's a pear cider, with a blend of rhubarb, lemon and mint, in a lovely little see through bottle to set it apart from their usual flavours.

"Little" is the operative word here, you get less volume here than the regular varieties, for the same price. It's good stuff though, a nice combination of flavours, with the rhubarb really coming through, and the tartness of the lemon giving it a nice citrus kick. The mint is subtle, rounding off the flavour, but I have to say it may have done better without it, there's maybe just a little too much going on here for me to appreciate all the elements. But this is a very refreshing cider, with a very unique flavour. I'm looking forward to trying out the other Botanicals, whenever the sun comes back...

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Chocolate Yollies

I don't like Yollies, they're pretty gross, weird texture paired with odd fruit flavours. I wanted to see if they'd improves with the chocolate flavour, but apparently they have not. I don't get why kids like these things, they're pretty bad. Maybe it's the emoji-style face on the front. The texture of it is somewhere between mousse and jelly, which as you might have guessed is pretty bad, it just ends up feeling like gone off mousse. The chocolate flavour isn't great either. I think it's a better fit for the lolly than the fruity flavours, but that doesn't mean it's good. Gross rubbery yoghurt things, I wouldn't go near them if I were you.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Kit Kat Ruby

There's a new kind of chocolate in town. Forget milk, white and dark, now you can get ruby. This chocolate news has crept up on me, I knew nothing about it until last week, though it seems it's hit the market pretty quickly from being announced last year. The best thing is it's not purely available as an expensive artisinal chocolate bar, you can find it in Kit Kat form at your local Tesco.

So what is ruby cocoa? Well, I'm not sure, and it seems the properties of it are a trade secret, so let's just say it makes pink chocolate. You may think it's just an aesthetic difference, but let me tell you this stuff tastes different. I would say it's more comparable to white chocolate than anything else, but there's a certain flavour to it. It's a bit fruity, and there's a little something that to me is reminiscent of flowers. I think it's an acquired taste, and it will probably take me a few tries to get used to it, but my first impression is that it's a little, how should I say, perfume like in taste. It's not bad though, it has a lovely creamy texture, and it's close enough to white chocolate for me to enjoy it, I'm just not sure about the overall flavour. I'll need to buy more to experiment.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Sprite Lemon, Lime & Cucumber

I don't really understand cucumber. I mean, I don't hate it, I'm more indifferent to it. I'll eat it if it's in a salad, but I won't go out of my way to consume it. It just seems so pointless, it's mostly water, it doesn't taste good, but it keeps popping up everywhere. Take this bottle of Sprite for instance. If you asked me what would be a good addition to Sprite, I would go with another fruity flavour. Not in a million years would I suggest sticking cucumber in there. But here we are.

What more can I say? This is Sprite with cucumber flavour added. It's a variation on Sprite Zero, so I guess this is something to appeal to those on a health kick. I must say, it does taste a bit like cucumber, but that flavour overwhelms everything else. The lemon and lime are muted, and altogether it makes for a pretty bland drink that tastes a bit too much like cucumber. Not a great variation, I look to Sprite for my lemonade fix, not to get a cucumber experience. Stay out of my soft drinks.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Remembering The Wattage Of My Microwave

I'm not a stupid man. I know things, and I can remember things too. I can recall phone numbers, car registrations, bank details, and even some poetry. But one thing I can never remember is the little number on the door of my microwave.

I mean, I don't really rely on my microwave a lot, but I use it enough that I should know the wattage. But every time I stick a frozen food item in there, I have to double check before I set the time. It's an annoying black hole in my memory, one that doesn't affect my day to day life, but provides me with a short burst of frustration every time I need to nuke something. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Can anyone tell me the wattage of their microwave? Without looking? Yeah, didn't think so. It's impossible to remember.

My rating: 0/5

Today's Review: Toblerone Crispy Coconut

I finally managed to get my hands on this coconut Toblerone as a belated birthday present. I've had my eye on it for some time, especially as my love of coconut has grown recently. Basically, it's a regular Toblerone, but with added coconut pieces. It's a good addition though, an extra bit of crunch with a bold, natural coconut taste. It's a little overly sweet, especially with the almond nougat still in place, but the coconut does prevail, making for a great overall flavour. A smooth, chocolatey coconut treat, a pretty unique Toblerone.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Naipo Portable Massager Seat Cushion

I was recently sent another product from Naipo, purveyor of some pretty fine massager products. Here we have a vibrating seat cushion, which is a little bigger than the others I've reviewed, but one I was excited to try out. This cushion contains eight vibrating massage points, as well a heat function, because heat is always good. Portability is the main selling point with the cushion, as it even comes with a car charger in the box.

Well, portable it is, it's very slimline, I'm surprised they've managed to fit all the vibration and heat pads into such a small space, while still making it comfortable to sit on. The cushion is easy to fold up, and comes equipped with straps to make it easy to put onto any seat you desire. Or you could just lay it down in the bed and do it that way, it's very versatile.

So let's get down to the massage itself. This cushion comes equipped with a rather comprehensive remote, which provides a lot of options. You can choose to focus on one or many of the four areas, so you can go for purely upper back, or just turn on everything and get all over vibration. There are also preset programs, which cycle through the areas, ramping up in intensity and slowing down, and just leaving the cushion to do its stuff lets it cycle through every program and gives good all over coverage. You can turn the heat on and off, change the speed of vibration, there's as much versatility in the remote as there is in the cushion itself.

I really like this cushion, you can put it pretty much anywhere, and it's slimline enough to pack away when not in use. The remote has a wide variety of options, and it provides a pretty decent massage. What I would say is that this doesn't give as deep a massage as other products, there are no kneading nodes, it's pure vibration. But what this lacks in deep tissue massage, it makes up for in portability and versatility. I've tried a couple of massage cushions before, and this one is a fantastic lightweight option.

My rating: 5/5

Buy the Naipo portable seat cushion here, and use the code V4KHMGBK for a further £10 off until 30/04/2018

You can also use the code R9PW4VRC to get £20 off this massager pillow until 30/04/2018, bringing the price down to £9.99

Today's Review: A Quiet Place

I must not have been the only one who felt horrors and thrillers were getting a bit stale, there seems to be a new trend in what I like to call "sensory deprivation" movies, which have introduced some neat ideas to the horror genre. We had Don't Breathe, which involved people trying to escape from a blind murderous man, and Hush, in which a deaf woman is terrorised by a man who can creep up on her without her hearing, obviously. Now we have A Quiet Place, which takes this idea into a post-apocalyptic setting. The story revolves around a family, headed by real life spouses Emily Blunt and John Krasinski, who attempt to survive in a world ravaged by horrifying creature who are blind but extremely sensitive to sound. Make a noise and you're pretty much dead, so as you can imagine, they need to live in a quiet place. Hey, that's the name of the movie!

This movie is tense, there's no doubt about it. For the small glimpses of the creatures that you're treated to towards the beginning of the movie, it's clear why silence is of the utmost importance, and that looming threat is present throughout the entire film, obviously building up and spilling over the top on the way. The sound design is incredible, every single footstep and moved object is perfectly audible, and put me on edge as to what would be a loud enough noise to draw attention. When the action kicks in, it's edge of your seat stuff, moments where a noise is made and the characters are trying their very best to hide and stay silent. It's not so much a scary horror as a perpetually tense thriller.

At the heart of the story is the one family who are trying their best to survive. The daughter is deaf, you see, so they can communicate very effectively through signs, and despite there being very little dialogue throughout the movie, emotions are portrayed wonderfully, with each character managing to convey their personalities in the way they sign. There are a handful of characters here, but they're all pretty wonderfully cast, and the relationships between them are very real and often emotional. There's an especially nice touch where the sound switches to what the deaf daughter hears, or rather does not hear, which really fits into the theme of the movie as a whole and serves to rack up the suspense.

So a great concept, fleshed out with some great characters played by wonderful actors. A Quiet Place is well worth seeing. It's not the perfect movie, it takes perhaps a little too long for things to build up. It's good for setting up the characters, but I feel some of it was unnecessary in the long run, there could have been a bit less exposition and I still would have felt the same connection to the family. But still, a minor complain in what is otherwise a breath of fresh air to the genre. Check it out.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Starburst Summer Splash

Here's a quick little review of another variety of Starburst I picked up recently. This one carries a summer theme, with four different fruity flavours that apparently resonate with the season. We have lemon lime, cherry cooler, strawberry watermelon and grape slushie. An interesting sounding range of flavours, though in practice they're not all that. The lemon lime has a citrus hint, but is lacking in any real tartness, the strawberry watermelon is more strawberry and less watermelon. As for the cherry and grape, they have those overly artificial fruit flavours which leaves the cherry tasting a bit like a bakewell tart, and the grape not tasting like real grapes at all. So they're not really authentic fruit flavours, and I wouldn't say they conjure up images of the season in my mind. Overly sweet Starburst that are lacking in authentic flavour.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Müller Bliss Salted Caramel

Bliss corners are probably my favourite Müller dessert, fantastically creamy yoghurt with a decent helping of tasty fruit compote. Now there's something a little different in the form of this limited edition salted caramel. There's a nice little portion of salted caramel sauce to swirl into your whipped yoghurt, and while the packaging says it's just "salted caramel flavoured" I must say it's pretty authentic. It's smooth and sweet, with a great little salty kick that's hard to find in other "salted caramel" products. All mixed together it makes for a pretty great dessert, one that shouldn't just be left as a limited edition. Track it down while you can.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: People Saying "You've Had A Haircut!"

I had my hair cut yesterday, I normally wait a while between trims, so the result is very noticeable. So today I have been greeted several times with the words "You've had a hair cut!" Now, I may have rambled on about snack foods and random objects daily for many years, but in real life I am a man of relatively few words, so someone informing me that I've had a hair cut seems quite pointless to me.

I get the sentiment. People have noticed my hair and want to inform me that they actually pay attention to me. It's small talk in its purest form. But why just tell me I've had a hair cut? I know I have, I was there. As a reaction to being told I've had a hair cut, I like to feel the top of my head with a shocked expression on my face while saying "What, have I?!" Instead of stating that a person has had a hair cut, I would say "your hair looks nice". It's a compliment, it's constructive, and is miles better than just stating obvious fact. Unless... people aren't saying that to me for a reason. Is my hair awful? I need answers! I need opinions! I don't just need observations of how my hair has become shorter. It's useless information.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Starburst Sweet Heat

It seems spicy sweets are something of a trend in the US, I found a few different brands with spicy varieties at an import candy shop recently. I've always been wary of spicy sweets, but I figured if anyone could get it right, it's Starburst. So here we have a selection of fruity chews, that are also spicy. If that sounds bad, you'd be right. There are some nice fruit flavours to start out with, such as the orange and watermelon, but it soon gives way to the "heat", which is a pretty strong and unpleasant artificial spice, that doesn't seem to want to complement the fruit flavours rather than overwhelm them. This is just the addition of heat for heat's sake, what could have been a nice pack of regular Starburst is now just ruined. Spicy sweets are not the way to go.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Strawberry Nut M&Ms

Yes, it's another variety of M&Ms. I wish we got even half the flavours that come out in the US, even if they're slight variations on the originals. Here we have strawberry nut, which you can imagine is like peanut M&Ms, but with strawberry flavoured chocolate. An interesting little twist, but it means there's not all that much to say about them. Peanut M&Ms have always been my least favourite, but I've come to appreciate nuts a lot more over time, so I'd still say they're pretty good. The addition of strawberry chocolate, however, is not a winning move. It tastes like strawberry, a little, but it's somewhat artificial, and doesn't particularly work well with the peanuts. The chocolate is overly sweet, and that nice balance of sweet and salt you'd find in the regular peanut bag is thrown off. So yeah, not great. Maybe I should have gone for that bag of coffee nut...

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Birthday Party Oreos

I tend to get unnaturally excited when I see a new variety of Oreos, especially if they're a UK release of a flavour I've always wanted to try but could never paying the inflated import prices. I was especially excited when I saw these in Asda, as I figured they were a much more reasonable 50p version of the Birthday Cake Oreos that have tempted me for so long. Why they changed the name, I wasn't sure, until I looked at the description and realised that they're not the same. I mean, I know what birthday cakes taste like, but apparently birthday parties taste like Oreo cookies with a caramel flavoured creme.

There are also some sprinkled in here apparently, lending to the birthday theme, but I couldn't find any as I was making my way through. After thoroughly studying the description I realised why. These Oreos consist of 29% caramel creme, and 0.14% sprinkles. Yes, 0.14%. Construing that 0.14% into the 29% of creme results in approximately... bugger all sprinkles in any of these Oreos. Why did they even bother? They should have just marketed these as caramel Oreos, and even then these aren't particularly great. They're sweet, yes, but a little too sweet, and the caramel isn't exactly authentic, it's got a bit of a funny taste. Still, it's a different kind of Oreo, so worth experiencing for 50p a pack. I'm just so disappointed in the lack of birthday cake.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Haribo Ginger-Lemon

I found this rather odd bag of Haribo in an import shop last week, and just had to grab it because of how odd a variety it is. If someone asked me which flavour of gummy sweets I'd like to see, I wouldn't go for the medicinal combination of ginger and lemon, but someone had that idea and brought it to fruition, so here we are.

I wasn't expecting to enjoy these, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised, as was everyone else that I shared them with. The packet says these are ginger and lemon sweets, and they are exactly that. A tart, sweet lemon undertone, with a lovely little authentic kick of ginger that provides a lovely level of heat, one that sticks around for a while. It's a sweet combination, and works surprisingly well in gummy form. These are great, I can't fault them. An odd idea that's executed perfectly.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Chocolate Buddy Jammy Peanut Butter Cups

I reviewed the Chocolate Buddy Peanut Butter Cups a while back, which were pretty good for an off-brand peanut butter snack. In the comments I was informed of the existence of a peanut butter and jelly version, and I've finally managed to track it down. The packet says "jam" instead of "jelly", but I don't have time to go into the differences between the two, so let's just say it's a mixture of smooth peanut butter and strawberry flavour filling in a chocolate cup.

There's some pretty decent peanut butter in here, encased in some good quality chocolate. But I've covered those before, so I'll focus on the addition of the strawberry, which unfortunately doesn't make them any better. It's a smooth, somewhat fruity, American jelly-like filling, and while it blends alright with the peanut butter, throwing the chocolate on top makes it all a bit too sweet. It's a decent enough effort, not awful by any means, these are just a nice different idea that just isn't executed all that well. Worth a try just for the experience, but Reese's are still the king of the peanut butter cup.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Dairy Milk Mint Crisp

This one seems to have flown under my radar, I spotted this little bar of Dairy Milk nestled among the other single serve chocolate bars. Mint Dairy Milk has appeared in both Puddle and Oreo forms lately, but this one offers a bit of crispiness too, in the form of honeycomb pieces. It's the chocolate itself that's mint flavoured here, rather than the filling, so that's interesting. Also, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that this eight square bar comes in an easy reclose pack, so you can save the rest for later. Because there's no way you could finish this in one sitting...

This is a very minty chocolate bar. I had to do an extra read of the description just to see that honeycomb is a factor here, because it's not present in the taste. The crunch it provides is good enough, but the mint just overpowers everything else, and since it's actually embedded in the chocolate it's always at the forefront. I mean, it's a decent tasting mint, but it's just a bit too much. I prefer the levels of mint Cadbury have put into their other bars, this one just isn't as good in comparison. 

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Things Being Just Out Of Reach Of Where You're Sitting

I like to sit down, relaxing is a fulfilling pastime. Nothing quite beats putting your feet up in front of the TV, except maybe lying in bed. I try and prepare myself fully for any relaxing time, ensuring I have enough drinks, snacks and remotes around me that I never have to abandon my sedentary position. But every once in a while I'll need something, only to find it's just out of reach.

Laziness at its finest, sure, but maybe I earned that laziness, and now there's a remote I left elsewhere, or a light switch that requires me to stretch slightly outside my comfort zone. This is why the clapper was invented, and most likely why home AIs are so popular now. You can dim the lights without moving a muscle, apart from your vocal chords. The moment a home robot can deliver stuff to your seat, that's it, no one will get up again. Because we are a species that loves to sit, and we have bent technological advances to our will to enable us to sit for longer. Because having things just out of our reach while sitting down really sucks. I don't care about Skynet, give me a robot that fetches my remotes.

My rating: 0/5

Today's Review: Monster Ultra Violet

Oooh, another new Monster flavour. I'm glad I managed to snag one, because I had trouble seeing it at first. Get it? Because it's Ultra Violet? Hahahaha! Anyhoo, this is another addition to the Ultra range, which I have thus far thoroughly enjoyed. This one is violet, and in true Monster fashion the name and description hold no clues as to what flavour it's supposed to be. The blurb is a ramble about 70s psychedelia and apparel, while also saying it's "pixie dust" flavour, which is entirely unhelpful. But as they say, the proof of the energy drink is in the tasting, or something like that.

Well, it tastes purple, which as you may know equates to something like that artificial American grape flavouring. So basically it's a zero calorie grape flavoured energy drink. It's a little odd, normally I expect that grape taste to be coupled with a sickly thickness, but here it's somewhat light. It's not a particularly great flavour, kind of artificial and vaguely fruity, but it's refreshing enough. Definitely at the bottom of my list of Ultra flavours, but it could be a lot worse.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla

Dr. Pepper just doesn't get the recognition it deserves over here. Sure, you can get it in regular and Zero, but we're a long way off from it being a beverage of choice at McDonald's. So I'm glad when I stumble across a different variety at any import shops I wander into, and was especially so when I found this one, which boasts both cherry and vanilla in one can. Good old fashioned American flavours.

I figured since Dr. Pepper is already "fruit flavoured" that the cherry wouldn't be all that noticeable, but it is, a nice bold cherry flavour that works quite well with the vanilla. It all combines with the regular Dr. Pepper taste, and somehow ends up tasting a bit like a cherry bakewell. Not a bad thing, but a little odd for a drink. So yes, it's very sweet, and packs a lot of flavour, but perhaps a bit too much. An interesting variation on the original, but I think I'd rather go for the regular.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: When Someone Offers To Make You A Cup Of Tea And Then Forgets

As an Englishman, I do enjoy a good cup of tea. I wouldn't say my level of tea dependence is as high as the regular British citizen, I don't cry out for one at every opportunity, but if someone offers to make me a brew I'm fairly likely to take them up on it. Most of the time it works out well, I get a cup of tea, they get to fulfil their British hospitality quota, everyone's happy. But every now and then, someone will offer to make me a cuppa, and then forget to do so.

Most of the time I don't even want the tea until the person asks. Then after the agreement has been made, naturally my body starts preparing itself to receive the tea. Time passes, and my body cries out more and more for that steaming hot cup. Sometimes tea takes a while, especially if it's a large order. I can live with that. It's when the tea maker has handed out cups to others, and then sits back down that I begin to panic. My tea has not been made.

What do I do? I can't remind them that they haven't made me a tea, that would cause the utmost embarrassment to both parties. I also can't go and make myself a brew, because even the slightest chink of a tea cup will jog their memory, and the barrage of apologies will begin. So there I must sit, now gagging for a cup of tea, but unable to do anything about it until the next one is made. What's worse is that sometimes after I've accepted my fate, the tea maker will suddenly remember that they've passed me over, apologise profusely, and I have to squeeze out an "it's fine" without making it sound like it is not, in fact, fine. They'll ask if I want them to make me one, but they don't want to get up again, it's a constant back and forth of "sorry" and "it's fine" that could last for hours. This whole situation is horrible, it makes me want to give up tea altogether. But I can't do that, I like tea. When I get one that is.

My rating: 0/5