Wednesday 7 September 2011

Today's Review: Cheesy Chips

It was a cold, damp Wednesday night. I left work slightly later than usual, and after a chat with my colleague about our old after work eating habits, I was on a mission. A mission to obtain cheesy chips. But tonight it was raining, and it was getting slightly too heavy to walk down the street unprotected. I swiftly put up my umbrella, but the wind turned it inside out too many times for it to be practical. Thankfully the rain had died down to a slight drizzle, so my quest could continue.

My destination was only a few streets away, but first I had to navigate through the drunken crowds that accumulate in Chelmsford on a Wednesday night. Around the stumblers and shouters around the former Que Pasa, and the former Edwards, through the inexplicably long queue to get into Chicago's. But after a few minutes, and no drunken shouts in my direction, I had arrived at Mrs. Cod.

I glanced at the corner of the window where cheesy chips used to be advertised, only to find out that this establishment now offered an Indian head massage for £10. I wondered if they had a back room or if they just laid you down awkwardly next to the fryer, but there were more urgent things to do. Inside I went, only to glance up at the menu and find that this succulent dish now cost £2.50. When I last went it was but £1.80, but I guess that's inflation for you. Or greed, either way, I was now determined to get my hands on some cheesy chips.

For a while I gazed in wonder at this deceptively disgusting mess. This is true English cuisine. If chips ain't enough, go ahead and dump a load of cheese on top, because cheese is scientifically proven to make everything taste better. (citation not needed) After smothering my dish with half ketchup, half burger sauce (see aforementioned reasoning as to why), I was on my merry way.

The chips taste like chips, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you're ordering cheesy chips and not expecting some normal tasting chips underneath it all then you're probably a little bit deranged. The cheese, however, was a little bit different. Not your average cheddar, but more like a cheesestring or a stuffed crust, but completely melted down. I often see snippets of the preparation of this fine dish, and before they shove it in the microwave they get the cheese from somewhere, I'm just never too sure where. 

Well, after a few minutes of looking like a chip eating hobo I was done. While stringles are a problem a lot of the time, I mostly avoided them tonight, although there's nothing more fun than walking down the street feeling like a cheesy walrus. Actually, there are a lot of things that are more fun than that. But with the roof of my mouth ever so slightly burned, and my stomach almost uncomfortably full, I can say I thoroughly enjoyed this tray of cheesy chips. The cheese is just melted enough to twirl around your plastic fork, instead of pooling at the bottom of the tray like radioactive slime. The chips were nicely hot, given an extra heat boost from the time spent in the microwave. If you ever want chips, just go for cheesy chips. What have you got to lose, except the time spent in hospital recovering from a heart attack in a few years? So worth it.

My rating: 5/5

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