Tuesday 9 August 2016

Today's Review: Slow Closing Blast Doors In Movies

You know what's fairly abundant in action movies? Large scale facilities full of nefarious people. It doesn't matter if the hero starts off in one, ends up in one, or sneaks into one to break someone else out, or to take down the big baddie. There always seems to be some massive metal-laden facility from which to escape, and the escape almost invariably happens through a door that closes painfully slowly. I'm sure you can all imagine it now, our heroes have done so well, they're almost out, but suddenly everything goes wrong, the alarms go off, and the doors start to close. Of course, this mostly happens when the exit door is at the end of the corridor the protagonists are standing in, and there's normally just enough time to run and slide/dive/squeeze themselves through the door before it separated them neatly from the bad guys. But why is it this way? Why do the doors close so damn slowly?

I understand the reasoning behind it, cinematically speaking. It adds suspense, it gives a neat ending to the breakout that allows the next portion of the movie to begin. But logistically it makes no sense. Sure, these doors are heavy, I guess they may take a long time to close, but a simple peruse of some blast door websites show some perfectly acceptable doors that can be closed very swiftly indeed. But no, the doors in the movies close at a snail's pace, giving people time to react, run, and make a stylish exit before they're secure. That would be extremely useless if there was a potential explosion, it doesn't matter if the door keeps everything secure, everyone would probably be blasted to smithereens before it's halfway shut. I understand the main bulk of the door may take a while to close, it's heavy and mechanical and all that, but I think a secondary door should be placed there too, which can be quickly dropped in case of escaping prisoners. That's one of the first things you should do as an evil person or entity, ensuring your prisoners can't make a dramatic exit. But pretty much every villainous facility, be it past, present or future, seems to have these ridiculous doors in place. Upgrade them already. 

Although, I suppose they have improved somewhat over the years. Those stone doors in ancient ruins close so slowly that Indiana Jones even has time to reach back in and grab his hat. I guess we'll get there in a few milennia.

My rating: 1/5

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