I remember watching the first Johnny English in the cinema with my dad. Mostly because I remember how disappointing it was, and talking with my dad about how silly it all was on the way home. But now those glorious memories have been updated with the latest movie in the series that should never have been a series.
Johnny English Reborn starts with our bumbling agent, Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson), training in some martial arts hideaway in some form of Asian country. Why? I don't know why, probably to be a lame parody of Rambo, or even a lame parody of the quite good parody of Rambo, Hot Shots Part Deux. Anyways, English gets called back to Britain to undertake a case that only he can accomplish. Why? Because the person with vital information only wants to talk to English. Why? To create a mind numbing sequel of course!
Off around the world English goes, accompanied by junior agent Tucker (Daniel Kaluuya), pulling off a far more disappointing performance than he proved he can make in the excellent Black Mirror episode he was in. Various plot points unfold, twists are revealed, and English has to once again prove he is the best man for the job, while clearly not being the best man for the job.
There's really not much I can say about Johnny English Reborn. Perhaps it was because I was constructing a wooden T-Rex while watching it, but I couldn't find any strong thread of a plot line in this movie. I'm thinking that the plot was indeed quite flimsy, because the snippets I did hear were pretty tenuous at best. It's like someone thought of several different situations for Johnny English to be in that would be really funny, shoved them all in the trailer (seriously, all the "jokes" are in the trailer), and then was reminded that there does in fact need to be a story when you create a movie. So here we are with a bit of a mess, with some jokes thrown in.
It wouldn't be so bad if the jokes were funny, but sadly they aren't. It's just as predictable and silly as the first Johnny English, if not more so. Atkinson does an alright job I guess, but even the best performances wouldn't really save this movie. If you were thinking of giving Johnny English another try, I implore you, please do not. Just let it die.
My rating: 0/5
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