Sunday 15 May 2011

Today's Review: The Fact That My Shelves Will Not Properly Hold All The Disney Classics

We went on holiday to Orlando in December 2008, and of course a trip to Disney World was involved. My childhood was reborn within me, and I revelled in all the imagery and characters that I had grown up with. But the experience left me somewhat disappointed in myself. I had never seen Sleeping Beauty, or sat through the entirety of Cinderella. There were only a few of these timeless movies that I had watched quite a bit when I was a kid. My children would not share my fate.

Now, just over two years later, I have collected almost every Disney animated classic. In a week's time the 50th, Tangled, will be released, which of course I shall get with haste. But there's a problem. It won't fit properly on my shelves. I used to have one alcove on my Ikea Expedit bookcase to house all the kids' DVDs, and there wasn't too much trouble keeping my Disney collection in the front row. I had a couple of Blu-Ray versions of the newest ones, and they were placed with the rest of my Blu-Rays. But of course, since I wanted to collect all the classics one day, I had to place them in chronological order of release, Blu-Ray next to DVD and all. For a while I resorted to placing the second half of my collection behind the first, but that second row houses the undisputed classics of the 1990s, and the rejuvenated awesomeness that has come around now John Lasseter is at the helm. So, the kids' DVD section is now spread across two shelves. But each shelf only holds 23 DVDs. It's just no good. Sure, there are two movies that have so far eluded me, Basil The Great Mouse Detective, which is going for ridiculous prices on eBay, and Make Mine Music, which hasn't even been released in this country, but even with the 48/50 that I will own in two weeks, some DVDs will have to be relegated to something other than the front spot.

I have no room to start another shelf of kids DVDs, and even if I did it would look empty and unloved. I could transfer over my Pixar Blu-Rays to make up the space, but they belong in my collection because I get boners over everything they make (no paedophilic subtext intended). I don't want to relegate any of my collection to the back row, even if there are a few movies that neither I or anyone else had heard of before I started collecting. It seems the only option is to find some more shelves. But I don't want to do that because I am cheap and like my things the way they are. Therein lies the dilemma. Damn you Ikea, damn you to hell. Why make a bookcase that only holds 23 cases? 25 is a round number, and people like round numbers. Maybe you designed it to only hold round numbers of books, but that makes no sense because books are all different sizes. I only assume you made it this way to taunt me.

Maybe I'll give Ikea the finger, invest in a shelf that holds my Disney DVDs perfectly. Until Winnie The Pooh comes out. Then I'll cry again. And in 19 years I'll wish I had my old Expedit back so I can fit my 69 movies in. But at the moment I'm annoyed. Because nerds get annoyed when they can't properly organise their passionately collected nerdy things.

My rating: 0/5

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