Thursday 29 March 2012

Today's Review: Breaking Wind... Part 1?

This was a definite rent for me, from the moment I saw the cover. I just needed to see how bad it could possibly be. After all, this isn't the kind of dependable awful spoof from the Meet The Spartans and Epic Movie guys. This is from relative unknowns, so who knows how utterly disastrous it can be?

The first fart joke is a minute and a half in. Of course, that's if you don't count the fact that the title is a fart joke. This has to be the most utterly lazy spoof movie I've ever had the displeasure of watching, and that's saying something after Meet The Spartans and their "let's stretch a single joke out for 10 minutes". This movie just makes no damn sense. There are several attempts to parody scenes from every Twilight movie, but it seems like that was the only idea they had, and when they got to actually trying to write the funny part they said "Pssht, I dunno, put a fart here and an ejaculation there, we're done".

Jacob is fat for some reason, the Cullens (or Colons, HA! see what they did there?) have miniature versions of themselves, for no reason. There's a gigantic battle scene recreation involving Na'vi and several characters portrayed by Johnny Depp, for no reason. The whole thing is a complete mess. I don't think I can really write about it anymore, every time I try and recall scenes it just makes me sad. Do not watch this movie, it will only encourage them to make more. Thankfully there are people like me who can see it for free and warn the population of Earth about what horrors await. Just don't. It's bad. It's so bad.

My rating: 0/5

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