A Review A Valentine

Dear readers,

I'm sorry I've been away again, I guess you deserve some kind of closure. I've loved our time together, we've had some great moments over the years. But things got too much and I had to take a break. I thought I could start again, rekindle that spark, but I ended up settling into my old ways. I wanted to give you something interesting and fresh, but I just ended up doing the same old thing, talking about food that tastes nice, or doesn't taste nice, which takes its toll on me, especially my wallet and waistline. So here it is, an ironic break up note on Valentine's Day. I loved it, but all good things must come to an end. Hopefully one day I'll start a new project, but until then, this is goodbye.

Just know, it's not you, it's me.

Today's Review: Cadbury Double Chocolate Delight

"Here we go again," I thought as I picked up the packet, "another dry, bland Cadbury cake to choke down for review's sake. But it turns out I was wrong, very wrong. These Delights are indeed delightful. While I was used to Cadbury sponges being disappointing, these ones are soft and pretty delicious. There's a nice little layer of chocolate sauce there too to add extra moistness and an awesome flavour. It's all wrapped up in chocolate too, so it's just a nice, sweet, soft, chocolatey little cake that just tastes great. I couldn't get enough, so I'll have to go and buy more.

My rating: 5/5

Today’s Review: McDonald’s Grand Big Mac With Bacon

The Grand Big Mac is back, and this time you can get it with bacon. A pretty nice addition, but one they feel needs to be accompanied by one of the stupidest hashtag campaigns I’ve seen in a while. Basically, McDonald’s are trying to create a debate over whether the addition of two slices of bacon to a Big Mac somehow makes it no longer a Big Mac. There’s even a TV as where people give stupid reasons as to why it can no longer be classified as a Big Mac. But it’s a Big Mac, it’s called a Big Mac. You don’t put bacon in between two slices of bread and wonder whether you can still call it a sandwich.

But enough of that, does it taste good? Well, yes, it’s a Big Mac with bacon. The bacon is of a decent quality, slightly smoked and sufficiently meaty. I did get an overall taste similar to that classic BK bacon double cheeseburger at first, but then the Big Mac sauce kicked in and it was a pretty great experience. The beef, the pickles, the sauce and the bacon, all working in harmony. It’s good to see the Grand Big Mac back, and bacon just makes everything better. It’s definitely still a Big Mac.

My rating: 5/5

Today’s Review: Hi-Chew Pineapple

I found these in the Co-Op, a little pack of sweets that promised to be “sensationally chewy”, and one that was exclusively pineapple flavoured as well. That really got my interest, normally they just lump all the tropical fruits together. So I had to check these out, thinking they’d be like those super chewy Japanese sweets.

These are certainly very chewy, treading that fine line between edible sweet and bubble gum. I would say the chewing goes on slightly too long, I was beginning to question whether I should swallow it or not. As for the flavour, it’s alright. Definitely pineapple-like, but it gets worse as it goes on, and since I was still chewing after a while the flavour had faded quite a bit. This is a decent enough attempt at a pineapple flavoured sweet, but it’s just a bit too chewy and the taste isn’t quite good for long enough. I’ll have to try out the more regular strawberry ones.

My rating: 3/5

Today’s Review: McVitie’s Moments Honeycomb Tiffin

McVitie’s have brought out a few of these Moments cake bites lately, and now they’ve introduced a couple of Easter flavours. Here we have honeycomb Ruffin, which doesn’t seem specifically Easter-themed but I guess invokes images of spring time. These consist of Digestive biscuits mixed with honeycomb, covered in chocolate and flower shaped sprinkles.

I’ve gotta say, I’m not a big fan. These are really quite dry. The chocolate on top is a nice touch. But the biscuit part is just quite bland. The honeycomb isn’t quite plentiful enough to add a lot to the flavour, and the Digestives steal the show to make it a pretty dry, stodgy experience. Even adding some raisins would have made this better, but as it is they’re definitely not worth the entry price. Not a patch on the other Moments varieties.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Dairy Milk Flapjack Bites

After being pleasantly surprised by the Cadbury take on the classic cornflake cake, I had to go back and try out some of their other bakery boxes. Here we have their attempt at flapjacks, some compacted oaty squares with a liberal covering of chocolate. 

These ones are good. Really good. There's the danger when eating a flapjack that they'll go overboard with the butter or syrup, making the whole thing a squidgy, overly sweet mess. These flapjacks, however, have a great texture with a lovely oaty flavour. The chocolate on top is nice and thick, and lends a nice creaminess to the whole thing to balance it all out, there's no excess of butter needed when you've got a lovely bit of chocolate on top. A great box of flapjacks, I'll definitely be picking these up again.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Jammie Dodgers Unicorn Edition

Jammie Dodgers have gotten into the unicorn trend, perhaps a bit too late, but hey, my daughter still loves unicorns, so that's something I guess. I really don't want to put much effort into this review because they really didn't put any into the product. There's a unicorn on the packet, sure, and a banner stating it's a "unicorn edition" with a "magical raspberry" flavour, but nothing's changed. That magical raspberry is actually just the standard raspberry, with nothing added to make it magical. 

It's just lazy. If you're going to make a new edition of something, at least change the colour of the jam. But no, these look exactly like your standard Jammie Dodger, I mean how much effort would it have taken to throw a bit of glitter on there? This is a shameless rebranding of the original product, with no attempt to make them unique in any way. Just disappointing.

My rating: 1/5

Today's Review: Kallo Pop-Crisps Himalayan Pink Salt & Black Pepper

Here's an interesting bag of crisps I picked up cheap from Home Bargains earlier, I've seen Kallo rice cakes before, but it turns out they've dipped into the popped crisp market too. Here we have "Himalayan pink salt with a hint of black pepper", which basically means salt and pepper. I can't say I know what makes pink salt from the Himalayas much different from any other salt, but these are some salty crisps either way. A good balance of salt and pepper, and the popped nature of the crisps allows for a generous coverage of flavour. I guess I did pick up a little something different in the salt part, but that was probably just my mind running away with things, upon eating a few more it just seemed more like the combination of salt, pepper and crisp. So as fancy as that salt sounds, it's still just salt. Not that there's anything wrong with that, these crisps are tasty and have a lovely texture too. Worth a try.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Chocolate Chip Brownies

Cadbury sure are pumping out the products again lately, and while they haven't really swayed me much with cake bars in the past, I couldn't resist picking up their take on the classic brownie. You get six individually wrapped blocks of brownie goodness in the box, so they'd be pretty good for lunch boxes, but they didn't make it that far with my kids because they're actually pretty good, and I ate most of them...

It's probably the chocolate chips that make these. The cake part is pretty decent, though not as moist as I'd hoped. A little dry, but packing in a lot of chocolate flavour. The chips add a whole other level of creaminess, nice chunks of Cadbury goodness that make these quite decadent. Unfortunately the experience doesn't last long, as these are pretty tiny. So while they taste good, I'm sure they could be better. Worth picking up for £1 though.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: McVitie's Hobnobs Peanut Butter Fudge Flapjacks

Even the name was music to my ears, peanut butter fudge flapjacks. The Hobnobs part was just the icing on top. Yes, these caught my eye immediately, and I was really hoping I wouldn't be disappointed. I mean, I've never seen McVitie's tackle the peanut butter market, but I have to say they've done a pretty decent job here. These little chocolate covered oaty flapjacks have quite a bit of flavour packed in. Chocolate and peanut butter is a great combo anyway, but the oats add a nice substantial layer that packs in a lot of the flavour. The peanut butter is noticeable, but not too sickly, though I will say the fudge part isn't particularly well represented, they didn't need to stick that in the title. Still, these are a lovely little snack, and I found it hard to eat just one. Peanut butter and Hobnobs, a great combination. I might even end up spreading it on my biscuits.

My rating: 4/5

Today’s Review: Coca-Cola Zero Raspberry

Coca-Cola are really churning out the flavours lately, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Here we have a raspberry version, which definitely piqued my interest. I’ve had raspberry coke before, but that was one of those flavour shot jobs at a chain pub, so I figured an official bottle of the stuff would be better.

It is better, in fact. Not perfect, there’s something about these fruit flavoured no sugar drinks that doesn’t sit well, they taste a little too artificial in general. This one isn’t too bad though, there’s a definite fruity flavour that’s actually pretty reminiscent of raspberry, and it blends in nicely with that Coke flavour without becoming too sweet overall. This is definitely better than some of the flavours they’ve brought out, I think I might pick this up again.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Dairy Milk Cornflake Cluster Bites

Cadbury are expanding their market again, and this time they're going after those bakery goods that all the supermarkets love to shove into your basket in some kind of 2 for £3 deal. Unfortunately these aren't in an offer yet, so I left the others behind and picked up these cornflake cake bites for a fairly pricey £2. 

There's not much to say about these, they're mini cornflake cakes, but instead of the regular supermarket chocolate these are coated in Dairy Milk. I must say, they're pretty good. The chocolate coating is substantial and creamy, they don't skimp on the Dairy Milk here. The cornflakes pack a nice crunch, but the focus is really on the chocolate. I'd even go as far to say there's perhaps a little too much here, but I see that as a good thing, these bites are indulgent and I'd probably rate them higher than Asda's own. A good effort at a bakery classic, made better with a generous Dairy Milk coating.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Freddo Treasures

For those of you with children who have spent countless hours watching YouTube videos of people opening "surprise eggs", this is one thing you won't be surprised about. Cadbury have taken this Easter as an opportunity to get in on that lucrative surprise toy chocolate market with Freddo Treasures, a plastic treasure chest that contains chocolate and a toy!

I mean, Freddo is there on the label, but he's nowhere to be found inside. What you get is two foil sealed compartments, one of which contains that elusive toy, and one of which contains 14 Buttons. Not even Giant Buttons, just 14 regular, tiny Buttons. I mean, we all know Buttons are great, but what's in here amounts to a small mouthful. As for the toy, the one I got in mine was a spinning top. That's Christmas cracker fodder guys, where's the good stuff? The appeal of Kinder Surprise has worn off over the years, I must admit, but getting a few pieces to put together at least injected a little fun into my day, and finding those rare porcelain pieces was quite a thrill. With Freddo, however, one measly spin and I was done with my treasure, and all that was left was an empty plastic shell and a faint trace of chocolate on my lips. Maybe I've lost that child-like wonder, but really I don't see how this will stand up to the big boys. It's a pretty disappointing effort from those Cadbury giants.

My rating: 1/5

Today’s Review: McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes Nibbles

The share bag craze continues, McVitie’s are getting in on it with this bite size version of Jaffa Cakes.  I always thought a box of the originals was already well tailored for sharing, but hey, here we are. I guess it’s slightly more acceptable to eat through this bag than a box of the cakes, but do these provide the same experience?

In a word, no. These aren’t great. The chocolate coating is probably the nicest bit, dark but smooth and creamy. That doesn’t count for much though as the rest is bad. The sponge is hard and flavourless, and the orange filling isn’t nearly as generous as it is in the picture. A disappointingly small amount of orange in the middle of what basically amounts to a stale Jaffa Cake. Don’t pick these up, they’re not worthy of the great Jaffa scales name.

My rating: 1/5

Today’s Review: When The Sweet Wrapper Gets Stuck To The Sweet

I don’t like unwrapping individual sweets at the best of times, but I have to admit it’s worth it. Just look at Starburst, or the excellent Fruitella I’m making my way through now. Unfortunately I hear Fruitella were bought a while ago, and while they’re fine to eat due to their main ingredient being sugar, they have gotten to that slightly empty stage where the wrapper is so much harder to get off.

I just want to eat a sweet, I don’t want to spend ages picking off tiny bits of paper with my sticky hands. Every time I think I’m getting it off nice and clean the wrapper tears asunder and leaves me delving my fingers into the soft sticky sugary goodness. It’s infuriating, but it still has to be done. Because after all that unwrapping, these Fruitella are still worth it.

My rating: 1/5

Today’s Review: Making The Cat Pounce On My Rug

I may be slouched fatigued on the sofa, but that doesn’t stop me having fun. The cat walked next to the rug, so I moved it with my foot, and now she’s pouncing all over it. She must think it’s a giant, really flat animal, and she wants to kill it. Ha, cats are silly, and I’m clearly very tired as this is all very entertaining. So let’s just say how great this is and go to bed.

My rating: 5/5

Today’s Review: Goodwyns Cookie Nibbles

It’s not often you can pick up a tub of cookies for £1, but you can if you go for these little morsels of biscuit goodness. These cookie nibbles are less than bite size, they’re tiny, but you do get a lot of them in the tub, so I guess it works out. They’re pretty much the same size as Cookie Crisp, but I didn’t go as far as to cover them with milk. Instead I ate them as nature intended, several at a time, popped into my gaping maw.

As far as cookies go, these aren’t bad. I wasn’t expecting gourmet, but these have a decent crunchy biscuit, and there’s some variety within the tub, with some having a more chocolate dough. The chips embedded throughout aren’t great, in fact they’re just “chocolate flavoured”, but they’re small enough that it doesn’t ruin the experience. This is a cheap tub of passable, tiny cookies that are good enough to share around at a little gathering. 

My rating: 3/5

Today’s Review: Popping Pork

Now for the latest episode of “Things Nobody Asked For”, featuring Popping Pork! I found this suspicious package alone on a clip strip at Poundland, and upon scanning it wasn’t even a pound, it’s was like 45p. Very odd, but then again everything about this is odd. I wouldn’t have thought bacon flavoured popping candy would be at the top of anyone’s list, but I guess e do live in an age where all manner of bacon related product exist, so I figured I’d try this one out for you guys.

Surprisingly, it’s not bad. The smell upon opening the pack is very much like a bag of bacon crisps, and the flavour is pretty much the same too. A definite meaty taste, with a bit of sweetness thrown in from the candy itself. I wouldn’t say it’s particularly nice, but it does do what it says on the packet. This is popping candy that tastes like bacon, and it has a satisfying pop to it as well. Unfortunately, the after taste isn’t too great, but it’s all still better than I thought it would be. An interesting bacon themed product.

My rating: 3/5

Today’s Review: Wearing Something Straight From The Tumble Dryer

We all have those days where things just aren’t quite organised. I’ve experienced a few occasions where I wanted to wear a certain item of clothing, but it wasn’t quite dry from the last time it was washed. But never fear, the tumble dryer is here to speed up the process and provide you with dry, toasty clothing.

Putting on something fresh from the dryer is amazing. Be it t-shirt or underwear, that instant warmth is enough to melt a heart of stone. I’d probably rank it with my top feelings of all time, alongside scratching a really annoying itch or having a good sneeze. Unfortunately the clothes don’t stay warm for long, the experience is fleeting, you have to grab it while you can. So although it’s short lived, it’s one of the simplest pleasures in life.

My rating: 4/5

Today’s Review: McCoy’s Muchos Nacho Cheese

I tried out the chilli chicken Muchos the other day, and found them to be a novel, flavoursome tortilla snack. The folded chips are awesome and allow for a taste explosion, and the same can be said of this variety. I don’t normally go for just the cheesy version of crisps, but this one promised nacho cheese, which I correctly assumed would mean spicy goodness. They’re not outrageously hot, but a nice hint of spice builds up gradually underneath a satisfyingly cheesy base flavour. It reminds me of chips dipped in the Doritos nacho cheese sauce, not quite as good, but a good overall taste for a cheesy bag of tortillas. These Muchos are good, I hope they bring out some more.

My rating: 4/5