Saturday 19 March 2011

Today's Review: Max

I was watching Dragon's Den a few weeks ago, and there was a guy on there, touting a toilet training aid called Max. He wasn't too successful, but a few days ago, what do I see on the shelf at Tesco? This very product. So it was time to look more into this.

Meet Max. It's a ball with a face in it that you throw into the john. "Wherefore?" I hear you cry. Well, apparently if your kids are having trouble getting their waste in the toilet then seeing a funny face looking up at them is much more effective. I can kinda see the point, if I looked down the toilet and saw a face staring back up at me, I'd probably shit myself. But that would be okay, 'cause poo just runs straight off this bad boy.

My daughter potty trained quite well, so I must admit that I have probably missed the point of the product, I'm sure it has been a wonderful help to many parents out there. But seriously, a ball with a face on it? I needed some more to work with on this to fully understand it, so to the website I went. 

The first thing I noticed was the URL: You'd expect it to have something to do with the product that's plastered all over the page, but I guess they're not being too subtle with the fact that their target audience is probably a bunch of goons. We have the usual fare, testimonials, bullet pointed reasons why this product is awesome, but some of them seem a little off. Max can "Help to save money on 'disposable nappies'!" Why is "disposable nappies" in quotation marks? Are they only allegedly disposable? Have I been wasting hundreds of pounds of nappies when I should have been wringing them out, scraping them off and plastering them back on my children? Dammit.

Max, the site also assures me, "Makes using the toilet a part of playtime, not an interruption to it!" Riiight. Not sure if I want my children to think that defecating themselves is something to do when they're bored, but I can kind of see the point behind this one. Everything's a game when you're a kid, and I often find myself aiming my whizz at particular points of the toilet to stave off the usual urinary boredom. There wouldn't be a market for those toilet target boards for adults if it wasn't true that we like to have fun while we pee. 

You may be starting to win me over, Max. But wait, apparently you help "children of all ages to be more accurate, including Dad!" You think you know me, Max? You think you know me? I take pride in my aim. You know those arguments couples always have about leaving the toilet seat up? Don't happen in my household, 'cause the toilet seat never goes up. For I have learned the secret art of peeing through a hole slightly smaller than the one I was peeing through before. Hell, when we started putting kid's toilet seats on top of the original toilet seat, I took it as a challenge to perfect my aim in an even smaller toilet opening, and I succeeded. Anyone who questions the perfection of my whizz trajectory ain't getting my money. 

My rating: 2/5

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