Saturday 4 June 2011

Today's Review: The Volkswagen Passat Advert

I have to be up at 5am to go on holiday. There were a couple of things I could review today. I could have reviewed packing for the holiday, but my lovely fiancée did a lot of that. I could have reviewed Doctor Who, but my enjoyment was cut a little short by my daughter pretending to be a train whistle. Probably have to rewatch that one.

So I was watching some of the performances from the Britain's Got Talent final, and in front of one was an advert that has really been bugging me. It's for the Volkswagen Passat, and it features a young child in a Darth Vader costume trying to use The Force on things. You probably know what I'm talking about, because everyone thinks it's super cute. But as an advert it completely fails.

So this kid in the Vader costume tries to move a washing machine, a dog and a doll. It's a good job they used the right hand gestures. A Force Choke on the dog could've ended horribly. Thankfully he has little success. Until father comes home in his Volkswagen Passat. Since he has failed horribly to even move a small amount of plastic, he automatically assumes his fake powers will work on a fucking car. His dad decides to give him a break though, and locks the doors from inside the house, thus affirming false beliefs in his son's mind that he has super powers and can therefore carry on with his plan to become an evil galactic dictator. Go dad.

Yes, yes, all very cute. But this is meant to be an advert for a car, no? The vast majority is taken up with a cool Vader costume and the Imerial March though. At first glance I'd just think this is an ad for Star Wars, until I realised that the pay off for that scenario would be Vader force flinging the car into his parent's window, and rising from the ashes to destroy Earth from his rudimentary Death Star made of twigs and mud.

The ad says nothing of the car. It shows the car, which is nice. I've seen cars before. They all look the same. What I would care about when buying a car is the stuff that's inside. How much mileage it does, special features like how warm the seats will make my butt cheeks. The one defining feature that they display for the Passat? Being able to lock it from afar with a key fob. Wow. I'm sold. Cars have been able to do that for about 20 years but this has really swayed me because it has a Darth Vader costume in it.

Are we morons for applauding this advert? I don't think so. I think Volkswagen are morons for making it. Viral video is a good thing for companies apparently, but I would really like to see the sales figures for this car to see if this ad has worked. My guess is the only people who went car shopping and bought this, saying "Wow, it's that car that that kid stood in front of on the tee vee!" are actually morons, because morons do make up a chunk of society. But Darwin will be proved right when it turns out they were too moronic to drive, and fall into a chasm. Where's Darth Vader when you need him? Having his afternoon nap probably.

My rating: 0/5

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Dan Bishop ! I know most of ads show their nice car but like you, I just care about the inside car, how much mileage it does, special features like how warm the seats will make the driver's butt cheeks.