Tuesday 12 July 2011

Today's Review: The Toilets At Southend Pizza Hut

We had a little trip to the seaside today. Certainly not the best day for it, but hey, we had fun. But before beachery, there was Pizza Hut, and with those unlimited refills a man's gotta go. So imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw this:

I'm sure most of you have played the urinal etiquette flash game online. If you' haven't, here it is. Basically the rule goes that men standing at urinals should normally be separated by one to avoid unnecessary junk watching. This bathroom does not only ignore that rule by having only two urinals, but laughs right in its face by placing the two urinals directly next to something else.

It doesn't bother me too much, I'm not a urinal user myself. I much prefer the comfort of solace and toilet paper that a cubicle provides. But imagine if someone was in the first cubicle, or it was out of order. I would be forced to go in the one next to the wall. If someone decides to try and dissolve the urinal cake while I'm inside, the first thing I'm greeted with upon leaving the cubicle is an eyeful of someone else's junk. If I wasn't paying attention I might even bump into them and disrupt the stream. You never want that to happen.

The other urinal isn't positioned better. It's right next to a sink, meaning if one person is washing their hands, and another is peeing in the urinal, cleaning yourself is not an option unless you want to rub up against a guy with his tackle out. Add to this the fact that the sink requiring you to snuggle up next to an exposed man is actually the child's sink, and you've got a recipe for disaster.

Maybe I shouldn't be too hard on them, maybe this is the best they could do with the space they had. But on the other side of the sinks, out of shot, is a massive radiator. Could they not have positioned that next to the urinal and moved the sinks further up? I fear the cubicle situation is unavoidable, but they could easily rectify the sinks. But alas, these toilets are massively cramped, and I'm sure they will be the source of much male awkwardness and invasions of personal space for years to come.

My rating: 0/5


  1. 1. There clean
    2. there is very limited space
    3. you must have such a small cock to be worried if some one can see your "JUNK"
    4.what real man sits down and takes a piss?
    5.how much time must you have to go round and take pictures of a toilet

    1. 1. Yes, THEY'RE clean. I never denied that.
      2. There may be limited space, but I'm sure they could have changed the layout for the better.
      3. Are you saying that if I have a massive penis I should be proud to have people staring at it? "It's okay, I know you're being inappropriate and creepy, but it's okay because my cock is huge". Plus if I did indeed have small junk I wouldn't have to worry about it protruding much, let alone someone else seeing it.
      4. I don't sit down to take a piss. In case you haven't noticed, you can urinate into a toilet the exact same way you do so into a urinal. Don't worry, the laws of physics will protect you. I merely enjoy the option of being able to wipe the residue off when I'm done instead of shaking it around.
      5. I have exactly the amount of time it took to take this picture, which was a few seconds. I probably have more spare time as well, I'm sorry you don't have a second of your life to fill with something frivolous. It's not like I went around researching toilets, I just happened to come across this one that was particularly badly laid out.
      6. Ask yourself, are you more angry than I am, or has your Caps Lock button malfunctioned?