Saturday 6 August 2011

Today's Review: Poundland's Banana Slicer

I sung the praises of my apple slicer in an earlier post. It's awesome, because having to always slice apples by hand is a pain, and that item did it all in one cut. But you know what I don't need to slice? Bananas.

Once I've gone to the effort to peel a banana I don't really feel like cutting it into thin, bitesize pieces. My kids don't either, they just grab it and chow down like monkeys. So I don't really see the point in a banana slicer. I know that some people might like to cut up a banana and have it on cereal or something, but I think if they're going to that amount of effort then they'll probably just cut it themselves with one of their 20 different kitchen knives. But that's probably a snap judgement.

My qualm is not with people who slice bananas. I'm sure people have perfectly good reasons, and I will not deny a man the right to slice his bananas. My problem is that this banana slicer is going to useless most of the time. My apple slicer is good because apples are invariably round. They may be different sizes, but they're always the same shape, and they always have a core that needs extracting. Bananas, on the other hand, all look different. This slicer only accommodates for a certain shape and size of banana, one with a slight curvature at the top.

I have three bananas in my kitchen at the moment, and as well as being different sizes they also look nothing like the banana this slicer assumes you'll have. So would I ever use it? There might be the odd occasion when I see a banana at the supermarket and think "Wow, that's exactly the banana I need to fit into my very particular banana slicer", but apart from those times it would just be sitting in a drawer somewhere, presumably crying specifically banana shaped tears.

So good luck with selling your banana slicers, Poundland. I suggest next you start selling genetically modified bananas with that exact shape and size.

My rating: 1/5

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