Today's Review: Milka With Tuc

Is there no end to what companies will stick in their chocolate bars? I hope not, because new flavours are awesome. Here we have a Milka bar sandwiched between Tuc biscuits. I love Milka, and I love Tuc, so this was a no brainer.

When I say sandwiched, I mean literally. There are rows and columns of Tuc on either side of the bar, and while they're not exactly stuck on too well, it's a fairly nice spread. The Tuc doesn't quite cover as mcuh of the chocolate as the package had me believe, but I was willing to forgive that. I was just eager for a taste of chocolate and Tuc.

Unfortunately it's something of an underwhelming experience. All the good ingredients are there, the Milka is smooth and creamy, the Tuc are just lovely, miniature versions of the regular biscuit. It's just that the proportions seem off. Even with a biscuit on either side of each piece, the chocolate between is just a bit too thick, and the creaminess overwhelms the Tuc almost immediately. There's a small moment where the salt and sweet combine to something really tasty, but it's extremely shortlived, and just ends up tasting like crunchy chocolate. It's a real shame, I had high hopes for this bar, but it's turned out to be just okay.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: The Original Crispy Candy Co.

Deep Fried Mars Bar. Never has such a combination of words filled me with both disgust and intrigue, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. After years of mulling over whether or not such a thing could actually be edible, let alone nice, I finally got to try one in a little fish and chip shop in the middle of a caravan resort. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't amazing. I was still very much on the fence. Until now.

Do excuse my finger.

In the heart of Camden Lock Village Market is a bright pink confectionery stand offering something a little different to the usual market fare. This is The Original Crispy Candy Co., and I've been itching to visit for a while now. They offer a selection of chocolate bars, deep fried in a special, secret buttermilk batter, which is apparently a much healthier and effective way of frying them than the old Scottish born favourite. Seeing as I wasn't a fan of the one I tried a few years ago, I was eager to see how Crispy Candy does it. Trouble was, I had a choice to make first.

See, Mars bars aren't the only treats on offer. You can choose from a selection of eight well known bars and treats, and each is displayed wonderfully with a fun name and a cross section showing how the insides look. I have heard only good things about the Ultimate Oreo, so that was my first choice.

Freshly fried, dusted with vanilla sugar, these were a great sight for my eager eyes. Inside each of these four perfectly formed batter balls is a warm, gooey Oreo whose structure has not been compromised. You'd expect that the batter would be dripping with grease, but there's something about this recipe that provides fantastic results. Each Oreo ball is soft, light and fluffy. It's almost like having an Oreo trapped inside a freshly made doughnut. The batter doesn't overwhelm the cookie inside either, the flavours blend perfectly, and I must say that warm, gooey Oreos are fantastic. I went for the simple option with the vanilla dusting, but you can also choose from cinnamon sugar, or go all out and have them served up with ice cream and more sweets on the side.

Well, I couldn't just have one thing, could I? I asked for a recommendation, and was told the Sneaky Snickers was a good choice too. It's an entire Snickers bar, skewered and battered, and it kind of looks like a corn dog. This is where the real comparison between old and new style battered bars began, and Crispy Candy wins hands down. I remember my original battered Mars experience to be messy and somewhat unsatisfying, but this Snickers was perfectly intact, warm, gooey, and surrounded by light, crispy goodness. The stick helps a lot too, no messy hands when you eat this bad boy.

If you're not quite in the mood for battered bars, Crispy Candy also offers a selection of milkshakes. While the menu isn't quite as expansive as the fried food, you can still get quirky offerings like Kinder Bueno and Oreo shakes. I couldn't resist the latter, and was presented with a perfectly blended drink. It tastes thick and creamy, but doesn't leave any of that clumpy residue you get with most shakes. The chopped up Oreos on top are a fantastic addition too. You can eat Oreos the way they should be: dipped in milk made from their blended brethren.

Everything I tried from Crispy Candy was fantastic. There's a great selection of treats, and the batter they use is top notch, giving a great deep fried taste with none of the nasty grease and sicky feelings that would come from eating a "traditional" battered Mars bar. Next time you're in Camden, this is definitely the place to go. I know I'll be going again, especially as I've heard Wispas of a new addition to the menu...

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Starburst Flavour Morphs

Ever had those Confused Skittles? They look like one flavour, but taste like another. Crazy! But now the flavour technology has changed again. Now you can grab a bag of Starburst Flavour Morphs, and witness a flavour changing experience as you chew. Well, witness it with your tongue anyway.

Yes, these sweets sound awesome on paper. You start out with one flavour and get another. I've been wanting to try these for a while, but they were always a bit pricey for my liking, as I wasn't sure how exactly this flavour changing thing would work, or if it would be any good. Turns out my apprehensions were somewhat justified.

First of all, there are only three flavours. They're all reds and pinks, so they're on the good end of the flavour spectrum, but I still wish there was a bit more variety. We have strawberry, cherry and raspberry, and they all taste quite nice at the start. Then the change begins, and what new flavours do we get? Blackcurrant? Orange? Lime?

Well, not a lot actually. Instead of the flavours changing into another, singular fruit, we instead get "strawberry pear", "cherry lime" and "raspberry pear". Yes, two pears. Basically you chew one nice, reddy flavour, and then a lesser green flavour turns up and crashes the party. The new flavours aren't really too noticeable, and they don't really blend too well with the initial taste. Plus I found that after chewing my way through one of these, there was a weird, bitty residue that took a lot more chewing to get out of the way. 

I'm quite disappointed with these sweets. They looked like a good idea on the packaging, but there's just not enough variety, and the flavour changing system isn't really implemented that well. They're not completely awful, but they're certainly not as nice as regular Starburst.

My rating: 2/5

Today's Review: Cookie Clicker

I seem to have exhausted my snack supplies, which is probably a good thing for my diet, and perhaps a good opportunity to put a bit of variety back into my reviews. So instead of reviewing cookies, I thought I'd review a game about cookies. It's Cooke Clicker, a browser game by Orteil.

The premise of the game is explained in the little dialogue box up top. You feel like making cookies. Conveniently, you are also provided with a cookie to click on, and doing so makes a cookie. You are now on your way. Your cookie clicker experience has begun.

At the beginning of the game, one click on the cookie produces one cookie. Simple enough, but it's not exactly the most efficient way to make cookies. You'll probably need some help. Thankfully, after you've made a few cookies, you can use said cookies as currency to buy some automated cursors that will click on the cookie for you every few seconds. It doesn't sound particularly efficient, but at least you're getting more cookies than before. Also, you start to get little updates on how your fledgling cookie business is going. Here, my family has tried some of my cookies. Yay, things are going well. But more help would be appreciated.

Once you reach the 100 cookie mark, you can hire a little old grandma. Grandmas make good cookies, obviously, and this one will bake one every two seconds for you. What a nice old lady. If you like, you can purchase more grandmas, or more cursors, or you can even use your cookies to purchase upgrades to make your grandmas and cursors more efficient at making cookies, thus increasing you CpS (Cookies per Second). So there we have it, the basics behind Cookie Clicker, a fun little game that gives you a little taste of the cookie making business. At least, that's how it started... I'm not sure how I got here:

You see, there comes a point where a few grandmas aren't quite providing you with enough cookies. At this point you can buy a cookie farm, that grows cookies for you at a much greater rate than grandma can bake them. Still not enough? Why not a cookie factory? Or a mine? Or even an antimatter condenser that condenses the fabric of the universe into precious cookies? As you can probably tell, things escalate quite quickly with this game. As you buy more cookie producing equipment, and upgrade said equipment, the amount of cookies it costs to upgrade more goes up. 

Enough upgrades? There are never enough upgrades

After a while, you don't even have to click on the cookie anymore, you have hundreds of cursors doing it for you, producing about a million cookies per second, not to mention all your grandmas, factories, mines and whatnot producing even more. But even with millions of cookies, you still won't have enough for the top level upgrades, and therein lies the horrible, addictive element of Cookie Clicker. It employs evil game design to keep you clicking. There are upgrades to buy, achievements to unlock, all which help you make more cookies per second, but which require the fruits of many seconds worth of cookie making. You can leave the counter running, accruing millions or billions of cookies while you're out or asleep, but it's always tempting to just click on that cookie yourself as many times as you can, so you can earn more cookies, so you can buy buildings to earn more cookies, so you can buy upgrades to earn more cookies. 

It's a vicious circle, but the situation quickly becomes out of control. The ticker at the top goes from informing you how your home town has started liking your cookies, to highlighting the working conditions of your cookie mines and factories, to eventually warning you that the entire known universe is now full of cookies. I've had my Cookie Clicker game running for a day now, and I have gone from my humble one cookie per click beginnings to some kind of tyrannical galactic cookie emperor earning 385m cookies per second. I'm not even anywhere near finishing. 

Every question mark is like a hole in my soul

Cookie Clicker is a game that highlights the utter ridiculousness of all these addictive internet games. Whether it be Farmville or Candy Crush, there are a bunch of gamers sitting around doing repetitive things, and then waiting for increased periods of time in order to do more expensive or difficult repetitive things. Cookie Clicker knows how to keep you hooked, and it's shameless in doing so. I know how ridiculous it is that I've been playing it for so long, but I really can't stop. Not when that next upgrade is so close. Only several hundred billion more cookies to go...

I may sound like a babbling idiot, spouting nonsense about cookies per second, antimatter and grandmas, but this truly is a well designed game, that whilst infuriating at times, is completely addictive. It has a great interface filled with weird and wonderful objects and features, and it's being updated all the time. Reading this review probably doesn't do it justice, the only way to truly experience Cookie Clicker is to play it yourself. Just don't blame me when it takes over your life...

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Spooky Strawberry Cake Bars

With all the Christmas stuff lining the shelves, it's easy to forget that Halloween is coming soon. Well, it's not really easy to forget, but I certainly haven't seen much Halloween themed food in the shops yet. I have stumbled upon these Spooky Strawberry cake bars, and they certainly seemed appealing. Basically, they're chocolate cake bars, with strawberry topping inside. But the kicker is, the topping is green.

There you have it. It may not be a truly gruesome, fluorescent ooze type of green, but it's certainly not the colour that strawberry filling should be. As such, it doesn't really taste too much like strawberry either. It's like the time Heinz brought out green ketchup. It looked cool, but it certainly didn't taste right. That's psychology for you. Still, there is a hint of strawberry in the filling, and there's quite a generous amount compared to the rest of the bar. For some reason I was expecting a swiss roll type cake, despite there being no mention of it on the packaging. Instead we have a moist chocolate sponge, encased in some nice Cadbury chocolate. Certainly very nice, and it works quite well with the generously portioned filling, it's just that the colour must have put off my taste buds a bit. If you're looking for some gruesome style food to kick off Halloween, keep an eye out for these.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Galaxy Nut Crunch

After getting hold of the Honeycomb Crisp Galaxy a couple of weeks ago, this other bar eluded me completely. It was not in my local W.H. Smiths, an empty space on the shelf taunted me at Tesco. But today, I found it, and while nutty chocolate may not be quite my thing, I just had to consume that which had escaped my grasp for so long.

Much like the Honeycomb Crisp, the premise behind this bar isn't anything overly original. It's your regular Galaxy chocolate, with almond and hazelnut pieces thrown in. As you can see, from above, there's a load of them, and this is what makes this bar earn the "Crunch" part of its name. Every single piece is packed with crunchy, sweet nut pieces, with a nice caramelised aftertaste. It's nice to have a chocolate bar with so much filling, but in this case it is a little too much of a good thing. After a while the nuttiness overwhelmed the creaminess just a little, and left me with a bit of a dry taste in my mouth. Still, if you eat it in small portions, which is probably what you should do, this is a nice, nutty, creamy bar, and a welcome addition to the Galaxy range.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Wonka Crème Brûlée

After getting to try out the Millionaire's Shortcake and Chocolate Nice Cream bars quite early on, it seemed I would have to wait until the official October release date to get my hands on the last of the new Wonka flavours. But I managed to pick one up in Tesco today (after a couple of weeks of an empty shelf taunting me). You can tell I was eager to try this, as it's earned the coveted photo background that I like to call "The Tarmac Of Impatience".

Unlike the other two flavours, this one only comes in the big bar variety. This larger size actually has a pretty neat opening and resealing mechanism. There's a small tab around the back that peels off a layer near the top of the bar, as shown above. The underside is sticky, so it can easily be stuck back onto the foil once you've had a few squares. If there's any left, that is.

As for the taste? It's probably the best of the lot. As you can see from above, there's plenty of creamy filling, and it has a lovely vanilla flavour that blends in very nicely with the chocolate. The caramel crunchy bits are the best though. There's plenty of them, and they remain after the rest of the chocolate and filling have melted in the mouth. But this wouldn't be called Crème brûlée if they were just simple caramel pieces, right? Thankfully, the crunchy pieces have a very nice burnt twist, that takes a backseat to the sweetness, but is still very noticeable. I've had some Crème brûlée chocolate before that had an overwhelming burnt taste, but this bar does it perfectly. So if you've tried the other two bars and not found them quite to your liking, you should still give this one a chance. It's truly scrum-diddly-umptious! Damn, thought I'd get through this one without a Wonka pun.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Brain Blasterz Sour Sweets

Many thanks to the very generous creators of Nanobytes, as they sent me another load of goodies to try out, in the form of Brain Blasterz, a range of "super sour" sweeties. There's quite a lot of stuff to get through there, in all kinds of shapes and sizes, so let's tackle them one by one.

These Brain Bitz seemed quite interesting. Very reminiscent of the iconic Nerds, these boxes each contain two different flavours that you can pour out in good measure. The packaging is a little fiddly, with perforated circles to push out and whatnot, and in the end I just ended up ripping the thing open to get at the juicy goodness inside. Which is exactly how one should describe eating bits of brain.

Inside are lots of tiny sweets. They are pretty much like Nerds, but softer, which is a lot easier on the teeth. The flavours are nice and very bold, and while they're certainly sour, it's not that intense. All the flavours are good though, and they certainly didn't last long.

My rating: 4/5

Ever had sour gum? I can't say I had, but now I've sampled some of this Oozing Brain Gum. The neat little skull shaped box has several individually wrapped gum pieces inside, and while they're probably the least sour sweets of the bunch, there was still a slight twinge when I first popped it in. Once I chewed, the fruity flavour came out, as well as the oozing middle, and that was very enjoyable. The gum is a very nice size as well, and it's perfectly possible to blow a bubble with just one piece, which is all I ever ask for with gum.

My rating: 4/5

Here are some big chewy sweets. I received Apple Sour Straps and Strawberry Sour Straws, but you can also get the flavours vice versa, which I'd love to try.

These are pretty much your standard pencil and fizzy belt type sweets. The apple straps weren't particularly sour or flavoursome in my opinion, but I loved the strawberry straws. They have a nice sour kick, a lovely sweet flavour, and the innards were wonderfully soft and chewy. A bit of a mixed bag for me, but perhaps trying the other combinations of flavours would win me over some more.

My rating: 3/5

Now we're moving onto the big leagues. While the rest of the sweets aren't overly sour, these ones packa real kick. Inside this awesome toxic waste barrel is a selection of flavoured candies. Each one has an extremely sour coating that will implode your face as soon as you pop it on your tongue. Once you've survived the first wave, you'll be greeted by some bold, fruity flavours. The blueberry and watermelon are particularly tasty. Once that's over though, there's a further sour surprise waiting in the centre. These are certainly a good choice if you're into your sour sweets.

My rating: 5/5

Finally, we have the candy sprays. These little spray bottles hold liquid candy that is insanely sour. I find myself wincing in anticipation every time I aim one at my tongue. The flavours are still as nice and bold as the other sweets, but the sourness pretty much overpowers them, especially as you're spraying straight onto your tongue. The tingly feeling will last long after the flavour has gone, which is great if you love your sour candy, but not so much if you want a nice, sweet experience. These are good for a spray or two at a time, I wouldn't suggest coating your tongue in an entire bottle though.

My rating: 4/5

So there we have it. A whole host of sour sweeties (some more than others). It's nice to see such a variety of sweets from one brand, there's something that everyone can enjoy, from a more subdued and chewy experience to full on tongue spraying madness. I'll definitely try and get hold of some of the other products that I haven't tried (I'm looking at you, brain gunk)

My overall rating: 21/25

Today's Review: Love Hearts Squashies

I've enjoyed the Squashies range in the past, and these Love Hearts Squashies have been in my sights for a while, and I finally picked up a pack at a reasonable £1 today.

As you can see, these are basically as the packet implies, squashy Love Hearts. They come in a variety of different colours, and with the trademark lovey dovey catchphrases etched on top. Each colour has a distinct flavour, and they're all pretty juicy and tasty, with the foam backing adding some really nice texture, almost to emulate the powdery taste of the original. They're not as powdery as the Refreshers and Drumstick Squashies, but I didn't mind really. I love chewy sweets, and these are big, tasty and juicy. I think they're probably my favourite variety of Squashies so far. A different spin on an already great product, that tastes really good.

My rating: 5/5 

Today's Review: Tango Blue Balls

Um... Well, yeah. These are Blue Balls, from Tango. Chewy blue raspberry bon bons, to be precise, but with a rather... interesting name. If anyone thinks that Tango aren't aware of the double meaning, they've gone and stuck two nut-shaped bon bons right on the front of the packet. In fact, there's a lot of stuff going on with the packaging. There's a yellow sticker that assures me this is a "big bag", a nice illustration in the corner, showing me that these sweets are "tongue painters", and a strange slogan at the top, "No pain - no gain!" Are these sweets going to hurt me?

Well, they certainly look like unassuming little bon bons, they don't quite have the texture of the ones in the picture on the front. There's a fair bit of dust on these that may rub off on your fingers, but once I popped them in my mouth that was long forgotten. These are very nicely chewy sweets, not too hard, not too soft, they last just the right amount of time really. The flavour of them is interesting as well. Slightly sour, definitely of the blue raspberry variety, but there's a slight hint of something else that I can't quite pinpoint. A little hint of something... green flavoured. I'm not too sure, but it takes a little something away from the sweetness of the main flavour.

These are nice sweeties, and while the taste is a little bit off, it didn't stop me eating several in one go. Let's just say I wasn't left unsatisfied, if you know what I mean. The only downside is that the "tongue painters" part of the packet is right. I ate about ten of these and had a blue tongue for a good few hours after. I don't know how long it takes to wear off, because I ate some more before it did. Oh well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Fanta Red Fruits

My mission to avoid sugary drinks has been somewhat successful so far, but this flavour has been taunting me from the shelves for a while now. One of my favourite fizzy drinks is Fanta Fruit Twist, so to have another flavour that promises even more red fruits (the best kind) was too much to resist.

This Fanta is "berry flavoured", which is enough to sell it to me, but upon closer inspection of the ingredients you can see that this contains apple, blackcurrant and raspberry. Not that apples were considered berries last time I checked (which was just a second ago to make sure), but there you go.

How does it taste? Very good. It's definitely got a lovely bold "red" taste, and for some reason it reminded me a little bit of wine, but, y'know actually nice and refreshing (I don't like wine). Both the blackcurrant and raspberry flavours are pretty noticeable, and they blend together really well. This is certainly a very tasty flavour, another great addition to the Fanta range. I might have to start indulging in the sugary stuff every now and then, it's too good to pass up.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Danio Blueberry Yoghurt

I'm not much of a yoghurt eater, but this Danio blueberry one has caught my eye lately. I'm not sure why, it's a pretty generic looking yoghurt. Maybe it's the flower on top, maybe it's the promise of being "super thick", or maybe it's the fact that the name "Danio" has my name contained therein. Well, I managed to pick one up at a reduced price, so I ripped the lid off and stuck my spoon straight in.

They're not lying when they say it's "Super thick", just look at that excavation. This is a really thick, heavy yoghurt that still manages to remain smooth and creamy. The blueberry may not be apparent at first, but one the digging has begun you can find that the bottom half of the yoghurt has a slight bluey tint, and underneath that is a hidden cavern of proper blueberry goodness. Once you get a spoonful of each distinct layer, this is certainly a very tasty experience. The blueberries are flavoursome, and the texture of the yoghurt is fantastic, and filling too. This may not be like your normal, runny yoghurts, but it's pretty damn good.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Lucozade Melonade

I saw Kev's review of this interesting limited edition this morning, just before I was about to pass my local newsagent. Lo and behold, upon popping in, this shiny green bottle greeted me from a nearby shelf (not the fridge sadly). Yes, it's another flavour of Lucozade, and after the success of pink lemonade, it seems they've decided to anagram it up while shoving a watermelon into a bottle. Yes, it's a watermelon flavoured Lucozade, which intrigued me, as I don't remember ever having a watermelon flavoured drink. Is this flavour filling a gaping hole in the market, or is there a reason we don't see watermelon drinks?

Well, it's actually pretty nice. The first think I noticed is that it has a nice mellow colour, when I was expecting a sort of radioactive green to match the bottle. It certainly has that distinctive Lucozade glucose taste, but the watermelon flavour is very intense, much like that of a similar flavoured Chupa Chups or Jolly Rancher. The intense flavour coupled with the glucose does get a little intense at times, but overall the drink is actually quite refreshing. There are certainly better flavours of Lucozade out there, but this one is original and quite well made. I hope I can pick up another one before they disappear.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Tesco Chocolatey Summer Fruits

Summer may be over, but that certainly won't stop me indulging in some summer themed foods. I was pleased to see another quite original Tesco sweet product in the form of these chocolate covered summer fruits. The bag consists of dark, milk and white chocolate covered freeze-dried raspberries, strawberries and cherries. Three types of chocolate and three types of fruit in one bag? Sounds good to me.

So there's the breakdown for you. The white chocolate covers strawberries, the dark raspberries, and the milk cherries. Unfortunately there's no variation, each type of chocolate belongs to one type of fruit. I would have quite liked to see the other combinations in action. As for how these taste, they're pretty nice. The chocolate is thick and flavoursome, although I must admit I'm not generally a fan of dark chocolate. The innards certainly pack a very sweet punch. I'm not really keen on freeze dried fruits, and these ones certainly aren't perfect but paired with the chocolate it's an altogether sweet experience, one flavour doesn't overpower the other. 

This is another neat idea from Tesco, and is pulled off generally quite well. I just wish there was more of a mix up between the different flavours, so I don't have to wade through bitter dark chocolate to get to all the raspberries. But hey, these are still worth a try.

My rating: 4/5

Today's Review: Tesco Sour Cherry & Pomegranate Gummies

When Tesco bring out their own brand of food, it's easy for them to fall into the old groove of churning out products that are just like previously existing brand names. We get Malt Wheats instead of Shreddies, Dr. Fizz instead of Dr. Pepper, and... Jaffa Cakes instead of Jaffa Cakes? Huh, guess that name isn't trademarked.

Anyway, with all the knock offs around the place, I was quite surprised to see this little bag of treats sitting on the shelf. Sour cherry and pomegranate flavoured gummy sweets, certainly an interesting combination of flavours. They look nice too, tiny little dark purple cherries. They're soft, squidgy, and have a lovely smell.

But how do they taste? Well, pretty damn good. They're certainly not too sour, but there's a nice tang to go with the bold cherry flavour. The pomegranate is a slightly more subdued taste, but is definitely noticeable, and adds a nice layer to these already tasty little gummies. So well done, Tesco. An original idea that is pulled off very nicely. Fruity, squidgy, and juicy, these are certainly worth a try.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Rockstar Punched: Tropical Guava Flavour

Since my successful diet a few months ago, I have fallen back into some bad eating habits, hence why I have reviewed a different snack every day for the last month or so. But one thing I have managed to stay away from is sugary drinks, because most have almost enough to give you your recommended daily dosage. Diet Coke and sugar free energy drinks have been my beverage treats, but there was something about this can of Rockstar that really caught my eye.

Yes, I'm a sucker for tropical flavoured drinks, and since I've never seen a sugar free tropical anything, I took the dive and opened this sucker up. A tropical flavoured energy drink sounded fantastic. Full of flavour, and an energy boost to boot. That's what I thought, anyway. Then I took a sip.

Rockstar Punched? Punched is right, drinking this is like being punched in the face by the Kool-Aid Man. It's an intense flavour alright, in the way that drinking a can full of sugary syrup is intense. At first I thought it was just that I wasn't used to so much sugar in my drinks, that I'd get over it soon enough. But sip after sip, this sickly syrup taste permeated my very being, and despite me not wanting to waste any, I couldn't finish the can. This drink defeated me, and left me feeling sick for a good hour after. I think I'll stick with the sugar frees.

My rating: 0/5

Today's Review: Rocky Mountain Mega Mallows

Everyone loves a marshmallow. They're chewy, gooey, packed full of tooth rotting sugar, how could you say no? Well, now there's more to love with Rocky Mountain Mega Mallows. They're just like mallows, but mega, although you probably worked that out from the product name.

Just how mega are these mallows? Well, I forewent standard measurement systems for no reason, so here's a mallow next to a bag of Walkers:

That's about the size of the actual portion of crisps you get

And here's one being held by a standard 11.5 inch Barbie: 

Now I just want to shove her body through a bunch of them and make a Stay Puft Marshmallow Barbie

So yeah, they're pretty big, and thankfully they're delicious too. I wanted to make S'mores, like the bag says you should, but Tesco don't seem to stock Graham crackers, to my dismay. I shall have to S'more it up once I've visited my local Asian supermarket. But yeah, these marshmallows are great on their own. They didn't seem that big to me for some reason, but one was enough to fill me up. They're fluffy, but heavy and gooey, and they certainly didn't leave a sickly taste despite the size. So pick up a bag today, and play the world's shortest game of Chubby Bunny.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Popping Candy Freddo

There is nothing more often used to convey dismay at the state of this country than the price of a Freddo. You see, Freddos used to be 10p, but now they are more than 10p, so clearly everything has gone to hell. No matter that the price of everything has gone up, as has the average wage, which is exactly what happens every year. No, it is the Freddo, the small, unassuming chocolate frog, that bears the burden of exemplify the state of the nation. Well, normally I disagree, but seeing as these new Freddos cost me £1 for two, I'll pull the nostalgia card out. See, when I was a kid, Freddos were only 10p. But Freddos also didn't exist in popping candy, Christmas themed form, so I guess I don't mind dropping a little extra money for something new and exciting.

Exciting may be a strong word. It's definitely a new direction for Freddos to be taken, but it's a very safe one. This chocolate is exactly what it says on the packet, a Freddo with popping candy inside. Same chocolate, but with a big of snap, crackle and pop. There's a fairly generous amount of popping candy in here, but it was all over a bit quickly given the size of the bar. All in all, while it's a nice bar, I think it's fairly uninspired. These are Christmas themed Freddos after all, why not go for white chocolate? That's a Freddo I'd fork out for. These ones? Probably won't be buying any more.

My rating: 3/5

Today's Review: Cadbury Dairy Milk With Daim

Oh, Cadbury, you're so good to me. After the myriad of flavoursome Dairy Milk bars last year (including the fantastic Oreo), and the wonderful Marvellous Creations filling the shelves this year, it seems they're still not quite out of ideas. This time, they've taken the classic Daim (or more classically, Dime) and shoved it into a bar of Dairy Milk. Sounds good, right? Right.

As you can (maybe) see, this bar is pretty packed full of Daim chunks. While there certainly aren't enough to make the bottom of the bar all bobbly, it's actually just the right amount. Every bite has a piece of crunchy caramel goodness, and the combination of textures makes the bar seem quite weighty and filling. In a word: Satisfying. In a few: Creamy, crunchy, deliciously awesome. You've done it again, Cadbury.

My rating: 5/5

Today's Review: Nanobytes

I had an envelope pop through my door this morning containing these interesting little sweets. They're a brand new range called Nanobytes, and they'll be landing in stores near you this month (beware: space puns ahead). Nanobytes are tiny, chewy sweets with an interesting backstory. According to the website, there was once a cluster of edible planets somewhere in the universe, and one of them, Planet Nano, drifted a little too close to a star, and exploded into tiny pieces. I'll assume the planet was unpopulated and uninhabitable, because a) that would make it a sad story, and b) the planet was made up of cola, bubblegum and strawberry flavoured chewy goodness, which I assume is not a good place to sustain life. But now the planet has exploded, sending tiny globules of edible planetary treats, and some brave Nano astronauts have been tasked with a mission to collect them and bring them back for we Earthlings to enjoy. 

I figured I'd take my own picture, just to show all the different flavours on offer, and the product shot up there is actually nicely to scale. You get a lot of Nanobytes for your buck with these larger packs, as they're quite a full packet. I'm a big fan of the packaging itself too, it reminds me a lot of that freeze-dried astronaut ice cream you can get in space themed tourist attractions. These large packs are also resealable, and in a way that actually works! None of this "fold over and place this sticker on top"business, you get a fully functional Zip pack that will keep your sweeties fresh. If you don't eat them all in one go that is.

I know what you may be thinking, and I think the comparison will be unavoidable for a lot of people, and yes, these do indeed look just like Millions. But I wasn't ready to dismiss them as another sweet clone, the proof of the pudding is in the tasting after all. So how are they?

The short answer, fantastic. Nanobytes are indeed like Millions, but a whole lot better. The cola flavour has that proper old-fashioned good-tasting cola flavour, somewhat reminiscent of a bottle of Fentimans. The bubblegum flavour is very very sweet, but in the way that proper bubblegum is. While I was chewing it was like I was eating a stick of Hubba Bubba. The strawberry is great too. It's not quite as sweet as the others, instead opting for a more subdued, proper strawberry taste. It's definitely sweet, but not sickly, which is a trap that most strawberry flavoured confectionery falls into.

So yes, the flavours are fantastic, pretty much authentic. But another great thing is the texture. In my experience with Millions, I've found that the sweets get bunched up and stuck together a lot, making them quite hard to chew and swallow, and most likely leaving some stuck in a tooth somewhere. With Nanobytes, there's none of that at all. They're certainly chewy, and they last a while, but once they're swallowed, they're gone, only leaving behind a nicely sweet aftertaste. 

Nanobytes are great. They have bold, great tasting flavours, they're easy to chew, and it looks like they're going to be very cheap as well. These sizeable larger packs that I received will only be 69p in the shops, with the smaller packets seen above retailing for a minuscule 25p. So keep an eye out for these, they are out of this world (only two space puns, I showed severe restraint). 

My rating: 5/5

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