Saturday 30 April 2011

Today's Review: My Cough

I've been coughing. For about a week now. It's not majorly consistent, but my cough is always waiting in the shadows, only to emerge at inopportune times. It all started last week, when my cough was first accompanied by normal cold symptoms. I thought "A cold? When it's just started getting warm outside? What are you playing at, you useless hunk of body?!" Then I realised it was just a cold and everything would be back to normal in a few days, so I should just try and ignore it.

And go away it did. Apart from the damn cough. This tickle in my throat that will not cease. Why is it still there? When will it go? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. People have told me maybe I should go to a doctor, but going into a professional's office and saying "I have a bit of a cough"would probably make me look like a class A moron. Yes, yes, a cough may be a symptom of some underlying rare disease that I don't know about, but more than likely it's just an abnormally persistent cough.

I know there's ways I could probably put an end to it. I could take some cough syrup, but since I threw away the year old sticky bottles I already had, I'd have to go out and buy some, and that would require some semblance of distinct purpose to do so and a memory good enough to remind me too. My memory can be pretty good, but often I walk out of Tesco with about ten things and not the thing I went in there for. So perhaps I am doomed to forever not buy cough syrup until I go in there one day specifically not looking for it.

Either way, the cough remains. It sometimes cuts me off in mid sentence, which is extremely rude of it. Sometimes I need to cough more forcefully than usual to get the tickle to subside for a while, and then people look at me like I'm a freak. In fact, there's no point listing the bad points to my cough, because I'm pretty sure there are no good points. At no point during my life has someone said "Oh, that's a lovely cough you've got there. Makes you sound so distinguished." I have only ever seen looks of horror on heads leaning back from my face as I hack my lungs out. Coughs suck, and this one does in particular because it just. Won't Die.

My rating: 0/5

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