Tuesday 18 March 2014

Today's Review: Carrying A Large Wad Of Cash

I wrote a review a little over a year ago on people who carry around large amounts of cash. I concluded that I do not understand them, and that they are bad and terrible people. Well, today I became one of those people. Well, not one of the people that carry hundreds of pounds while sauntering between shops. I was given some money that I was owed in cash form, and the only way to make sure it was safe was to make the 20 minute walk to the bank to deposit it. So for that short amount of time, I was a person who was carrying a large amount of cash, and I think I can further understand people who do this. Although, not really, as I hated every second of it.

First of all, I had no real secure place to put the cash. We're talking close to a grand here, and that's not enough to put in a locked briefcase that is handcuffed to my wrist, but it's way too much to be able to fit in my wallet. It was warm outside too, so I had no inside jacket pocket to tuck it into. So I had to place it in an envelope, which was then wedged in my pocket with my phone, to ensure I could still feel it at all times, in case some sneaky pickpocket tried to lift it from me.

But pickpockets are only one of the dangers you face when carrying money. There's also people who will just straight up knock you out or rob you at knife point. Granted, this was the middle of the day, in open, populated streets in a safe area, but you've got to think of all the possibilities. Like, what if I passed out for some reason? What if a freak gust of wind managed to pluck the envelope from my pocket and spray the money all over the streets? What if the fabric of space in my pocket area were torn asunder, launching my wealth into another dimension? All distinct, very real possibilities, and all of which made me feel entirely uncomfortable. Once I'd reached the bank and given the money to the teller, I felt a lot better. The physical notes were their problem now, for now my money was digital, only accessible by hackers, fat cats and economic crises.

So, after my 20 minute money-carrying ordeal, I can still safely say I do not understand those people who carry cash around. Physical money is a fragile, easily misplaced thing, especially as it's made of paper. I wouldn't advise that anyone carries a large amount, unless they absolutely have to. It's nerve-wracking.

My rating: 0/5


  1. Ha ha! Can't get enough of these comedy reviews. Brilliant!

  2. I'm not sure what you're trying to say. You probably should have paid more attention during your English GCSE.

  3. You get used to it after a while. The reality is that I was never pickpocketed before, and nor am I now. I typically will draw £3 - 500 and carry this in my wallet until it runs out. Frequent visits to the ATM are a waste of time. I like the feeling of being able to cover most scenarios conveniently and without fuss.