Thursday 7 June 2012

Today's Review: Jack And Jill

Why did I even watch this? I can't even make the excuse that I wanted to be sure to warn you all that it iss a terrible movie. I mean, just look at that poster. It's Adam Sandler playing a man and a woman. That's the entire concept. How can it not be terrible?

I don't know what happened to Mr. Sandler. I can only assume that there's something wrong with his brain, because why else would he write and star in such nonsensical garbage? How the hell did he get Al Pacino and Johnny Depp involved? Heck, how did he even get Katie Holmes? If I read the screenplay I'd assume it was written by the crazy homeless man that they introduce in the movie for no reason, and who disappears halfway through for no reason.

This movie makes no sense. It's a series of non-sequitur occurrences that I guess are meant to be jokes, but they're all so disjointed and poorly written, acted and filmed that the whole thing just seems like one big blooper reel. It's hard to tell what's a joke and what's not, nothing is funny, nothing is explained, there's just Adam Sandler dressed as a woman, some farts, and Al Pacino. Seriously, Al Pacino? What happened?

Even The Nutty Professor, hell, even Big Mommas is better than this, at least those movies had some semblance of a plot. This is just a mess, a big steaming mess. Anyone who's seen the trailer can probably figure out how bad it is straight away, but you really can't grasp how awful this whole production is without watching it all the way through. I literally felt embarrassed for everyone involved.

In short, Jack And Jill is a thought provoking movie that raises many questions. What is wrong with the mind of Adam Sandler? How did so many people fail to see how terrible this whole thing was? How desperate is Al Pacino? How did this movie cost $79 million to make, and who the hell actually paid to watch it enough for it to gross $150 million? This is the end times. The world is stupider because this movie exists.

My rating: *sigh*

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