Thursday 28 June 2012

Today's Review: The Special 500th Post Guest Review

Wow, this is my 500th post. I've been reviewing for a long time. 500 days in fact. To mark this special occasion I'd like to present the first guest review, written by my good friend Robin, who also designed the logo for this blog. So without further ado, here it is:

Guest Review - Schwarzkopf Live Colour XXL Shake-It-Up Colour Foam

First of all, thank you kindly to Messr Dan Bishop for allowing me to provide the first ever guest entry for A Review A Day. I was proud to provide the graphic banner for this expository tour de force, and am even prouder to help share with the world a learned verdict of Western Consumerism's many available commodities.

Without further ado, let me introduce you to Shake it Up Colour Foam, a new method for changing your follicular hue from our good friends at Schwarzkopf. It is provided in a canister whose shape and materials puts one in mind of a takeaway Frappucino or Smoothie - these are fun things that make us feel better, so naturally we expect that this particular hair colorant will also provide a fun and enriching experience. A notion further cemented by their use of the word "fun" on the packaging, alongside such words as "vibrant," "dazzling," and "easy."

I wish to focus the brunt of my review on that particular claim - "easy," in particular "easy as shampoo - no dripping," as the blue circle promises us. Let's examine that, shall we? In my 25 years of experience cleaning my hair with shampoo, this is the procedure I am familiar with:

  1. Put blob of shampoo on hands
  2. Rub in to hair
  3. Wash off
  4. Enjoy having clean hair for roughly 24 hours, depending on activity levels.

I'm sure some of you might have variations on that, but I think we can agree it's all a fairly simple process, thusly a claim that dying ones hair with a similar level of ease is an attractive proposition. But is this claim true? Let's compare the above with the procedure I am now familiar with for using Shake it Up Colour Foam.

  1. According to instructions, empty small bottle of aggressive chemicals in to canister.
  2. Gingerly retrieve small see-through packet of gloves from amongst chemicals.
  3. Put on gloves
  4. Notice that the packet of powder you need to open has no tear mark, so retrieve scissors.
  5. Open powder and mix in to aggressive chemicals by shaking canister (with lid on).
  6. Open canister and move head back to avoid unpleasant smell. Make peace with the fact you're about to rub this on your head.
  7. Remember that the packaging promises no drips, so you can apply in liberal amounts. Therefore retrieve generous dollop and place on your head.
  8. Utter mild swear words as half the dollop drips well away from your target, possibly on your own body, your sink, or perhaps staining bathroom upholstery.
  9. While holding back thoughts of retribution against Schwarzkopf, take smaller dollops and begin adding to your hair, until it is all covered.
  10. Following instructions, employ circular motions to ensure total coverage of every hair.
  11. (If applicable, put your glasses back on.) Curse the fact that the circular motions have caused more drips on various places on you and your bathroom, as well as spreading of the dye on to the areas of skin surrounding your hair.
  12. Reign in your frustration while you use several pieces of toilet paper to try and get the dye off your skin while keeping it in your hair.
  13. That's never going to work, so give up, and take the gloves off. Reject the irritation that comes from realising that the gloves have let plenty of the goo on your hands anyway.
  14. Wash your hands and other stained body parts.
  15. Go and sit down for 30 minutes somewhere. Which is strange, because I never remember having to sit down for 30 minutes in the middle of using shampoo, but I must be wrong, as this process is as easy as using shampoo.
  16. Go and wash off the goo from your hair. The instructions say to do this until the water runs clear, however this point will never arrive if you stay on our standard time-space continuum, so decide a point at which to give up.
  17. Look in the mirror and be disappointed by the results.

At my count that's thirteen extra steps beyond the simplicity of using shampoo, many of the points being infinitely more complex in and of themselves. Therefore I have one response to the claim "easy as shampoo - no dripping," and that response is: bollocks.

However I must admit on the second day, after another wash and condition, the colour has come out okay. A fairly nice and bright red for someone whose natural colour is dark brown.

But the process is far more complex, irritating and drippy than the more traditional offerings, so despite the successful colouring I am loathed to give this silly gimmick a high score.

My rating: 2/5

Well, that was quite in depth. I feel like I know a lot more about hair dye now, and I've done it myself a few times. But oh, Robin, you shouldn't believe everything you read. Of course there'll be drips if you throw caution to the wind and rub it around your scalp like a man infested with head lice. That's the way I picture it anyway. I agree with the gloves aspect though. Those things are tiny, hardly big enough for my chunky man hands. I find that a little bit sexist. As for the dye on your face, I know it's not ideal, but it's just as easy to attempt to remove once the process of rubbing it into your hair is done. Just scrub away until the skin's gone. Ta-dah!

One thing Robin didn't mention is the smell it promises, the "juicy fruity scent". How exactly does something smell juicy? Or do they mean it smells like Juicy Fruit? I saw him a couple of days after this process was done, and I cannot say he smelled like chewing gum. Perhaps the scent is short lived, like when you can actually smell that scented shampoo you use. It's always gone by the time you see someone else, and you have to get them to shove their face in your hair so they can smell it. Other people do that too, right? Anyway, I suppose it is quite like shampoo in that respect, but that's pretty crappy. 

All in all, a great review, though I do have some apprehensions regarding Robin's ability to properly apply hair dye, perhaps there is a bit of bias in there. But it is a shitty process that stains everything, so I guess I can pretty much agree with him.

My rating: 4/5

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