Friday 20 July 2012

Today's Review: StreetDance 2

Oh dear. Oh dear. When will it end? It seemed dance movies were on the decline until 3D came along, and now they just keep coming, StreetDance 2 is the sequel to 2010's StreetDance, and in those two years no one has noticed that there should be a space between those two words. This is a sequel in the loosest sense of the word. The only connection is the character Freddie, played by George Sampson, who seems to have gained a completely different personality between the first movie and this one.

Actually, personality might be stretching it a bit. Here is the story of StreetDance 2. We open with a random competition, during which our hero, Ash, is selling popcorn. Suddenly he decides to challenge the winning group to a dance battle, falls over and gets laughed out of the place. Thankfully Freddie noticed that the whole three seconds he was dancing was actually pretty good, so he basically forces himself into the position of Ash's manager, and without any thought or explanation, they take off around Europe to pick up the best street dancers to form a crew. No mention of how these two guys, one of whom sells popcorn for a living, and one of whom is 19, manage to afford travel costs for this recruitment, but whatever. Of course, our heroes find all of the dancers they're looking for, and whisk them off to Paris to train up for an international dance battle. One of these dancers is a ten year old boy. Where are his parents? They don't explain anything and that makes it creepy.

Well, that's pretty much the entirety of the plot. You can probably guess how it unfolds, except they throw in some crap about developing a street dance-latin fusion to really throw off the competition, but only so they can put in a hot latin dancer. It's uninspired, rushed, messy, but hey, it's all about the dance, right? I can admit that there were some good dance moves throughout, but after a while of watching people throw themselves on the floor and flip around all over the place it all looks a bit samey. I don't know how these dance battles are judged, I guess the more a person can land on their spine and not break it the more points they get. 

I did not enjoy this movie. I never expected to, but it's just really bad. There are no real characters, just a bunch of people who dance and take turns to say things like "Dance battle" and "Final clash". There's a Musli mguy who literally just wears a t-shirt saying "I'm Muslim, Don't PaniK' and makes a comment about not having halal food. Never mind caring if these characters won, I didn't even cared if they lived. The story is just as non-existent, and the only saving graces this movie has is the dance moves and the 3D effects, neither of which are particularly exciting. StreetDance 2? More like StreetDance Poo. Ha! Sorry, that's the best pun I could come up with.

My rating: 1/5

No comments:

Post a Comment