Monday 1 July 2013

Today's Review: White Clothing

There are many different colours of clothing, but only one that contains all the wavelengths of the visible spectrum. White clothes are bright, dazzling in the sun, and they'll pretty much go with anything. Put on a white t-shirt and you'll be laughing all the way to the well stocked rainbow chinos aisle.

But white clothes are not for me. I never used to wear white tops, as darker clothes concealed my rotund figure. If you have man boobs in a white top, they're definitely gonna show. But now my body mass has decreased to a reasonable size, I have found my other main gripe with white clothes - stains.

Stains aren't good on any kind of clothes, I know, but at least dark colours let them blend in for a while. When you get a stain on some white clothes, be it food, mud, grass, blood(?), it is going to be severely noticeable right away. I bought a white t-shirt the other week, and during my second time wearing it today, I managed to drop a tiny piece of food. In normal circumstances it would be fine, barely noticeable. But now this shirt has to be scrubbed until the stain is all gone. A few years ago I bought a pure white jacket for the princely sum of £40. How many times did I get to wear it before stains ruined its dry clean only surface forever? Twice. I don't even know why they bother giving school children white shirts to wear. The amount and frequency of stains that appear, all schools should probably just use dirt brown and lawn green for their official colours. 

White clothes suck. Though they may make choosing an outfit easier, you can be sure they'll show off your unflattering figure, before latching onto anything nearby that will leave any kind of embarrassing stain. I think I'll stick with the blues and blacks, thank you very much.

My rating: 1/5

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